Page 47 of Ironhold, Trial Eight
I shake my head.“The cell wasn't locked.At least some of the guards are on her side.Selene is the one in control there, not us.”
Rowan shakes his head.“There’s no way she’s running the whole of Ironhold.”
“I don't know how many of the guards or which ones, but I'm confident that we aren't in control of Selene right now.”
“Marcus will no doubt push for her to be executed,” Rowan says.“But maybe we’ll be able to finish this in the colosseum by sending her against harder and harder foes.”
“Is that really what you want to do?”I ask, shocked that he would jump to doing something like that.
Rowan looks at me steadily.“Somewhere in all of this, Lyra, you're going to have to decide exactly what you believe in for the city and exactly how far you're going to go to make it happen.I believe in the Republic and its laws.Those laws say Selene stays in Ironhold and the Colosseum until she either completes five seasons or dies."
I'm not sure what I believe in, what I want for Aetheria.I've spent months now being drawn back and forth between competing positions.
Rowan wants a place that is orderly and carefully controlled.He believes in the Republic and in the senate, but he normally isn’t willing to move quickly and decisively when there are threats.Often, I get the feeling that he's overwhelmed by his position as the first senator, and that translates to him being unwilling to make any move without evidence and careful deliberation.Sometimes, he spills over into being too controlling.The guards who keep arresting Alaric’s people do it on his orders, after all.He continues to oppose the games but does so passively by staying away from them.
Marcus is different.I think now that he believes in the Republic, although it might just be as a route to power for himself as someone who started life as a merchant rather than a noble.It's clear he sees the games as the heart of the city, and his willingness to put on underground fights suggests that he's happy to bypass the senate when needed.He's a man at home working with the levers of power, happy to use the corruption of the city, rather than clean it up, and he doesn't see how that might corrupt him in turn.
Alaric, meanwhile, wants to tear it all down.He sees corruption in the senate, so he refuses to work with it.He sees violence growing both within the games and in illegal fights, and so he seeks to disrupt both.He wants to work for the ordinary people of the city, but he’s so focused on his goals that he'll try to achieve them even if people get hurt.
And now Selene wants to resurrect the empire with herself at its head.
They all want different things.Rowan wants a safe and orderly Aetheria without any trouble, not seeing that some disruption may be necessary to make life better.Marcus wants power and wealth, and the most generous thing I can say is that at least he believes those are prerequisites to him being able to do good for the people of the city.Alaric wants to cut out the aspects of the city he hates.
What do I want?It's a question I don't seem to have asked myself enough as a senator.I drifted into the role because it was what Rowan and Marcus wanted for me.I've acted well beyond the boundaries of what I should do because of what Alaric wants.Now, I find myself faced with a much larger threat because of the things Selene desires for the city.
I want to help the people of the city.I think we can't ignore what the people want, but that we must focus more on giving them what they need.I want… I want to do something for the people of this slums who gave me my position.I want all of that, and I don't know how possible it will be when there are so many threats rising within and around the city.
I will stand against those threats.I’ll help to stop Selene if I can, and I’ll also work to limit the deaths Marcus is bringing about, even as I try to protect people from the chaos Alaric wants.Protecting the people of the city seems like the best thing I can do.
