Page 43 of Girth (Marked Skulls MC 1)
I pushed her away, beside myself with rage and approached the enemy soldier, who hadn’t moved an inch from his place. With a roar, I swung my fist at him, but Emma stepped in between us, and my fist ended on her face, cracking her lip open.
The moment I did that I realized my mistake, and a stabbing pain spread through me, the monster in me laughing and laughing…
“No! Emma!”
I woke up with a gasp, the cold sweat sliding down my temples. I sat up and looked at Emma, terrified that I had hurt her badly. A wave of worry washed over me, an unbearable pain claiming me. It was a nightmare, but it felt so real, reminding me of the reason why I had to keep distance from her. She was sleeping soundly, unaware of the danger that was right next to her.
I closed my eyes and ran my hand over my face, trembling. I could never, ever allow something like that to happen. If I hurt her… I didn’t know what I would do.
I couldn’t believe I’d let myself fall into that old fantasy and think things could be better between us. I wanted nothing more than to be with her and protect her, but I couldn’t hurt her. It was the same reason why I ignored her letters in the army. I was dangerous and I never wanted her to be involved with me if I could hurt her.
I was such a fool. I couldn’t stay next to her any longer. She was better off without me.
The hot tears spilled out, and I needed a few moments to gather the strength I needed to move away from her. As hard as it was for me, I needed to leave. This was the only way I could keep her safe. Away from me.
I got up from the bed, careful not to wake her up, and went to put on my clothes. I didn’t allow myself to think about the pain that was getting stronger with each second that I was closer to leaving her. I wasn’t going to be selfish. I’d been selfish enough this night.
Without saying a word to her, I left her place and out into the chilly night.
Chapter 15
Emma
We were in Noah’s room at his mother’s place, lying happily next to each other. We were naked, having made love to each other for the past few hours.
I felt loved, which was a feeling I had completely forgotten. I didn’t remember when the last time was I felt this happy. He held me in his arms like I was his most precious person, his kisses on my skin languid and gentle. And the way he looked at me… Oh my God, there was such passion, searing into me and coloring my whole world into the colors of joy and hope.
“So now what?” I asked him, inexplicably joyous. Last night, we agreed to be together again, and we promised each other we would be better and work on resolving all the issues that we had.
“Now, we’ll make sure to keep each other happy,” he answered me and snuggled me closer to him, kissing the top of my head as his arms wrapped more tightly around me.
“You’re already making me happy,” I admitted to him, surprised at how easy it was for me to admit this to him. I didn’t feel vulnerable. I wasn’t filled with mistrust. It was like in the old times, just Noah and Emma—two teenagers in love who couldn’t live without each other.
“And I plan to make you even happier. I plan to make you happy every day from now on, for the rest of our lives…”
I giggled. “Now I know I’m dreaming this.”
“Oh? Why?”
“Because you’re suddenly too sappy. You’re never this sappy.”
He chuckled and tipped my chin up, making me look at him. “Oh, so you don’t want me to be like this?”
“I want you, Noah,” I told him, placing my hand against his cheek. “I’ve been lonely for so many years, trying to find someone to fill the gaping hole inside my chest, but it was impossible.”
Regret showed in his eyes, and he planted a soft kiss on my forehead.
“I’m so sorry, baby. I’m sorry for everything. I know I scarred you, but now I want to make things right. You aren’t lonely anymore. You have me.”
I placed my finger across my lips, acting like I was deep in thoughts about something. “Hmm. I, have you? Show me.” He knew exactly what I was talking about, his lips quirking up into a smirk.
Too suddenly, he pinned me against his bed, hovering above me. “You want this?” He was an epitome of bad boy, his looks and his eyes filled with ardent passion too irresistible.
“I want everything, Noah.” I cupped his cheeks and planted a kiss on his soft lips. “I want the sweet you, the bad you… Everything.”
We kissed, and I pushed him to the side, intending to straddle him. However, the dream started fading, and the reality seeped through…
I rolled over, my hand reaching for Noah, and I woke up, snapping my eyes open. The other side of the bed was empty, and I frowned. It was just a dream, but it felt beyond real, and I needed a couple of seconds to distinguish the dream from the reality.
“Noah?” I called him, looking around my room. It was early in the morning, the sunrays illuminating my face as my worry increased. Where was he?
“Noah?” I called him again, getting out of my bed. His clothes weren’t on the floor where he’d previously discarded them. Was he in the kitchen or the bathroom?
I put on my bathrobe and went to look around the apartment. “Noah? Where are you?”
Nothing. There was no answer, and after the quick inspection of my place, I realized he was completely gone. What was going on?
Anger prickled in my stomach, a smell of betrayal caressing my nostrils, but I didn’t want to believe in that that easily. Noah was different last night, acting like he was really regretting what he’d done to me in the past, so maybe he just went out to get us some food or something.
Yes. It was probably that, and he would be back any minute. If I wanted us to start again, I had to believe him. I had to trust him more than this.
I sat down on my couch, deciding to wait for him. However, each passing moment filled me with more anxiety, until I couldn’t stay in one place. I got up, giving up on waiting for him. He wouldn’t come, because if he’d actually planned to come back, he would have left some note telling me where he was.
I went to take a shower, my sore pussy a reminder of the passionate night with Noah.
The hot stream of water engulfed me, bringing relief to my slightly aching muscles. I couldn’t bring myself to regret last night, because it was everything I had craved for and even more, but to say I was upset with Noah was putting it mildly. He left me once again, with no explanation, and the anger in me was close to reaching a bursting point.
Was this all a game for him? Was he just using me for one night of sex before he continued with his life? How cruel one person could be to do that? I was so sure he felt the same way as I did last night.
My hands were too harsh on my skin as I soaped myself, and I willed myself to slow down and take it easy.
I didn’t trust him, but then again, I saw the raw passion and need in his eyes. I felt it in his touch, in hi
s tender kisses… It wasn’t fake. It wasn’t filled with empty promises. Even thinking about it now warmed my body. The memory of him hugging me from behind me before we fell asleep last night was so vivid that there was no way for me to mistake it. It wasn’t just some illusion he threw at me so he could have me.
Then why the hell did he leave me this morning?
“And what if something happened and he had to leave urgently?” I asked myself, rinsing my body. “Maybe he would call me later and explain why he had to leave.”
Yeah. That was also possible.
I finished showering, knowing that I was playing a dangerous game here, but I couldn’t deny my extreme reaction to him. If last night was any indicator, we could be on a road of recovery if we worked our hardest on our issues. So maybe I should try and figure things out with him.
“No. That’s absurd. He hurt me, and now he was gone again.”
I finished showering and grabbed a towel to dry myself. No, I definitely shouldn’t rush. I had been trying enough after he left for the army, and what did that bring me? Nothing. So now he should be the one to fight for me. He should make things right, not me.
I dressed myself, making plans on how to spend this Sunday, but my resolve not to get involved with him was weakening with each hour. He didn’t call, but instead of making me angrier, it only made me more worried.
“What should I do? He seemed so different last night. And not only that, but he seemed like he still had feelings for me.”
Ugh, this was frustrating. Slowly, I was giving in to the attraction, and before I knew it, I grabbed my phone to call him. Luckily, he gave me his number before we fell asleep, which could be another proof that he actually wanted to stay in touch with me.
Encouraged by this fact, I dialed his number. I would tell him I wanted us to give a relationship a shot. My heart was thumping madly in my chest, and my palms were sweating. I couldn’t believe I was this nervous about contacting him, but I was.
In an instant, I was reminded of the first time I called him when we started dating back then. My hands were trembling and sweating then too. The only difference now was that I had no idea how he would react when he answered the call.
