Page 22 of Girth (Marked Skulls MC 1)
So, I didn’t blame him when he had been silent for too long. He was taking me back to my place, and we hadn’t spoken a word. There was a deathly silence between us and even though I was sitting behind him on his bike, I didn’t have the courage to do anything more than to place my hands on his shoulders.
I was itching to wrap my arms around him. I was desperate to feel the warmth of his body against mine, but Girth had made no move, he had made no sign that he wanted to be touched, in fact, it was just the opposite.
I licked my lips nervously, as my hair blew around my face with force. Girth was riding his bike hard. Like he was desperate to just get me home, so that he could put some distance between us. I, on the other hand, wished he would just say something. Just tell me what he was feeling.
Slowly, unable to control myself any further, I crept my hands down his shoulders and started to wind my arms around his torso. With my breath caught in my throat, I wrapped my arms tenderly around him and I could sense the bike slowing down.
I could feel the muscular strength of Girth’s body, which sent my own body in motion. There was a tension in my belly. I wanted him again. I wanted him all the time and I knew he was feeling the same way about me.
Girth stopped the bike suddenly on the side of the road. Jerking himself away from my arms, he jumped off the bike and turned to me. I watched as he glared into my eyes, running a hand through his hair exhaustedly.
“Lila, you need to fucking stop,” he growled. I could see that he was angry, and I also knew that he had every reason to be.
“Girth, please don’t be mad at Daddy. He was just afraid that he was going to lose me and he was lashing out at you. Everyone knows that I wouldn’t have been rescued in time before getting hurt, if it wasn’t for you,” I pleaded with him. My cheeks were flushed, my eyes were wide and staring at his face.
Girth shook his head and took a step away from me.
“It doesn’t matter what everyone else knows, Lila. I know the truth. You wouldn’t have been kidnapped, they couldn’t have come into your house and dragged you away from your bed, if I was doing my job,” he said and I could hear the raging rumble in his voice.
It made me gulp.
No matter how pissed off Girth looked, he was still sexy. I still wanted him with a burning intensity in the pit of my stomach.
“Well then, it’s my fault. I was the one who distracted you from your job. I want you to stop blaming yourself, please,” I cried and Girth took in a deep breath. His wide shoulders squared because of it, and suddenly, he looked bigger and more dangerous than he had ever looked before.
“Yes, exactly, you are a distraction for me and you are my job. This thing between us needs to stop right now so that I can concentrate on keeping you safe. Without that, why am I even here? What am I doing in Orlando?” he asked, in a low deep voice and I stared at him open-mouthed. He was right. This was his job and I was making him feel incompetent at it.
“But we can’t decide how we feel for each other, whether this is your job or not. It’s just happening to us, it’s out of our hands,” I tried and Girth’s eyes became dark brown. He had narrowed them at me, his lips were firmly straight.
“What are you talking about? What feelings? This is fucking getting out of hand,” he roared and rubbed a hand over his face. I felt my heart sink to the pit of my stomach. Was I alone in this? Was I alone in imagining that Girth had feelings for me, the way I did for him?
I could feel my tears rising up my throat again. I was going to cry right then. Girth cleared his throat when I didn’t reply.
“Look, Lila. I’m here in Orlando temporarily, and if you get your way, you’re not going to be here long either. The best thing to do for us now is to stay out of each other’s way till your dad and the MC sort out their differences with the Dark Legion. Once that is over, I can go back home and you can go wherever you want. We can both move on,” he said.
I didn’t want to move on. I didn’t even know if I wanted to go to New York anymore. All I could really think about was that sick feeling of weakness that I felt for this man standing in front of me. The man who was rejecting me right now.
Girth must have noticed the look of desperation and sadness in my eyes, because his voice grew a little softer now.
“It doesn’t matter what I want, do you understand that, Lila? I can’t be with you. It’s against the rules. Fred told me so,” he said and I looked up at him, with my watery eyes on fire.
“What are you talking about? What did Fred say to you? I asked him and Girth breathed in deeply again.
“He made it clear to me, in no uncertain terms, that if I don’t keep my hands off you, then he will not be able to defend me against what Lewis might want to do to me,” Girth said and I breathed hard. My shoulders were shaking with rage and fright both.
“He can’t say that to you!” I snapped and my face felt hot with rage. I could feel my body shaking as I glared at Girth. He clenched his jaws and met my eyes. He was watching me lose my cool.
“He can’t! I’m my own person. I am allowed to be with anyone I choose. It’s my right. They can’t dictate my life like that!” I was hollering now and Girth stepped up to me and when I least expected it, he placed his large hands on my shoulders and stroked gently.
“Yes he can, and so can your father and any member of the MC. It’s against the rules and I have to honor that. Yes, it is your life and your choices, and you can choose to be with anyone, just not a member of your father’s MC,” he said, in a soft voice. Like he was speaking to a child.
I jerked my shoulders away from him.
“You mean Hugh!” I snapped and Girth shook his head.
“I mean anyone except one of us. Hugh or anyone you choose,” he reiterated and I was gritting my teeth angrily.
“Why are you hellbent on pushing me to him? Especially when you hate him so much!” I snapped at him again and Girth watched me quietly for a moment before he spoke again.
“I’m not pushing you to anyone, Lila, I’m just trying to put some distance between us so that we don’t make any more mistakes. So that I don’t slip up again,” he said and I flared my nostrils angrily at him.
“You think it was a mistake, what happened between us? Every time it happened?” I asked and he clenched his jaws again.
“It was a mistake, yes. Being with you is the biggest mistake I can make,” he said and I could feel the tip of my nose reddening. My face was growing tighter, I felt like I was losing my sense of stability on the bike. There was a wave of anger and disappointment washing over me and I was losing my balance.
“Lila…” Girth said my name in a whisper, because he could clearly see that my face had lost all its color.
“You’ve said what you have to say,” I said and jerked my face away from him. He came towards me and hesitated before he placed his hands on my shoulders again.
“Just because it’s a mistake doesn’t mean that I don’t want it, I want you to hear what I’m saying, Lila,” he insisted and I glared at him again.
“I heard you loud and clear. You have no feelings for me and whatever happened between us, was a mistake. I fucking get it!” I was shouting at him now and he came closer to me. My face was level with his chest and I had to crane my neck to look up at his face.
My body was on fire. Even though I was raging mad at him and everything he was saying, I couldn’t stop my body from reacting to our close proximity. I could smell him again, I could sense the strength of his arms and body and my stomach was clenching with desire for him. I didn’t want to feel that way. I was humiliated by the rejection, but my body wanted what it wanted and I could do nothing about it.
“You don’t fucking get it, Lila. You don’t get anything,” he said and bent low towards me. Our faces were aligned now and my eyelids were heavy with desire. He was staring at me, studying my face from up close and I parted my lips.
He kissed me gently, like he was trying to convince me of something. But that was all
I needed. I felt a tear trickle down my cheek as his lips pressed into mine. My mouth was parted and he slipped his tongue in, exploring me, tasting me and subconsciously, I started leaning back on the bike seat.
I felt Girth’s arm wind around me abruptly. He was holding me in place as he kissed me. My head tilted back in order to accommodate him and his height, while I sank further into him.
