Page 51 of My Best Friend's Dad

“Sorry. Too soon. I know you’re just getting over a nasty flu-cold double-ass kicker. How about fries? And good gravy. As well as chicken pot pie, ice cream cake, loaded baked potatoes, chicken fingers, watermelon, strawberry smoothies, and matcha tea?”

“That’s very specific.”

She grins as she turns onto a street lined with condo complexes. They’re not new, but not that old either. A few of them have iron fencing surrounding the area, but most are open. Some have so many jammed into such a small plot of land that they look like barracks.

Mika heads to the end of the block and turns in at a nice complex with grey two-story buildings that all stand side by sidein identical rows and boast blue shutters. They have sweet little porches with white railings and white fencing that separates the scrap of a yard they all get. Each person gets a parking space, with several visitor spots at the front.

“They might also be all of Bellatrix’s favorite foods, just in case you’re ever wondering. Or in case, you know…you want to kiss her again.”

I flatten myself to the seat like we’re about to get slammed into, bracing for impact.

“It’s okay!” Mika assures me, smiling so wide that both her dimples are visible. Her black lipstick looks extra black against her white teeth. She left her color contacts out today, and her eyes sparkle. “I fully approve of you kissing Bellatrix. I know you’re not the kind of man who goes around kissing women unless it means something, which is why I’m going to guess you haven’t done a lot of that over the years.”

“I…I…”

“You deserve to be happy, dad.”

I study her directly.This. This needs to be said. And I should have done it years ago. “I’m sorry, Mika.”

Her smile falls. “Why? What did you do? You’re scaring me with that face. Wait, was the sickness something else? Is it terminal?”

“No!”

She inhales shakily. “Thank fuck.” She studies my face as much as possible while driving. “If you’re going to say that you’re sorry for not being a traditional dad, then don’t. I’ve known for a long time that Mom made things as hard as possible. I used to hear her telling you that I didn’t need an absentee father and to stay away. You didn’t do it by choice. You provided for me, and you gave me everything I needed. You weren’t trying to buy my love. You were just trying to make sure I was okay.”

I wasnotprepared for that. It knocks me back in my seat, and my eyes burn like I just took on far more horseradish than I could handle.

“I don’t know why Mom is the way she is. We’ve had it out more than a few times, most of them lately. She denies she ever did anything wrong. Maybe, in her mind, she was only trying to keep me from being hurt as a kid. I don’t know. I don’t think I’ll ever understand.” She slows for another light and turns to me, looking utterly serene. I have no idea what well she’s drawing that calm out of, but I’d like a drink. “I’m an adult now. We didn’t have a relationship for a long time because I didn’t know how to get there. And if it gets left too long, the gap gets wider and wider, and there’s no bridge.” She chuckles, tapping the wheel with her thumbs to some kind of internal rhythm. She never turned the music on. “It’s kind of funny that by almost ruining your own life, you kind of savedus.”

“You saved me. It’s supposed to be the other way around. A parent is never supposed to be saved by their child.”

“Pssssh,” she snorts, rolling her eyes. “I’ll always need you guys, but I’m responsible for me now. I’m an adult, too, not a kid anymore. And I didn’t save you. I just helped you get there. The rest was up to the universe.” She slants a hopeful look at me before the light changes. “It can still be up to the universe.”

“Should I give you my list of reasons why it can’t be with Bellatrix now or later?”

“Mmmm.” She puts a finger to her jaw, contemplating. “How about never? How about we turn that list of frowns upside down, so all the no’s become yes’s? Let’s make it a day for positivity.”

I put my hand on Mika’s arm before she can eject herself out of the vehicle. “I don’t want her to get hurt.”

She doesn’t even hesitate before she replies, “I know. And I don’t want you to get hurt, either, which is why I ship you both.Bellaleigh. Rowllatrix. You’d both make a nice combined name. And nice babies.”

She shakes my hand off, laughing loudly, and pitches herself out of the car.

My head swims with confusion, my heart with longing. My chest is somehow convex and concave at the same time, and now my face is scarlet. I know what I want. And it’s incredible that Mika is giving more than her blessing. I think I even know what Bellatrix wants. But what is therightthing? Not in the eyes of society, but to protect Bellatrix so that whatever decisions she makes, she’s glad she made them. I could wait a lifetime for her to be sure, but is that right too? She’ll want things I can’t give her, things that just won’t work, given our age gap. I can’t just forget that. I know that when she looks at me, she sees me. She didn’t know who I was that night in the lounge, but that feeling we both had together? It hasn’t changed. She doesn’t care about the money. It’s just…timing. Now. Years from now. Sure, it’s fear too. Fear of hurting her. Me. Mika.

It’s a lot.

It’s even more terrifying that it’s not a lot. That it is, but it could be chipped away and slowly overcome, talked out, thought out. That time would and could work wonders.

“Dad! A little help here!”

I eject myself out and grab the two heavy paint cans Mika is struggling with. She loads her arms with as many rolls of wallpaper as she can carry. At this point, she looks more like a walking home décor store moving up the sidewalk. Even though the handles bite through my palm, I shift the cans to one hand and grab the trays and rollers. I’ll come back for the rest.

Mika moves fast, so she gets Bellatrix’s initial response. I walk up to them in the middle of a conversation that is heavy on the protest side (Bellatrix) and even heavier on thewe’re doing this, and we’re doing it right, right nowside (Mika).

“I know you have the best intentions—”

Mika cuts Bellatrix off. “My intentions are completely nefarious. I swear, I’m planting secret cameras to get your mom’s reaction the second she sees this place. It’s really all about self-gratification. Your evil doll bear child thing is rubbing off on me. It’s turning my soul into a dark, dark place.”