Page 94 of Charlie Sunshine

“Oh my God,” I breathe, as he drops our bag to the floor. “I was expecting a Toblerone and a Waterstones voucher.” He opens his arms, and I automatically step into them, feeling his body heat warm me. I reach out and run my hand down the silky coldness of the car roof. “You really bought me a car?”

He nods. “We’re over a year clear of turns now.” I smile at the word “we.” “You’ve got your license back.” He grins. “I saw it on the hall table and got the idea straight away. So, you’re going to drive us to Brighton, and I’ve booked a very beautiful hotel on the front for the weekend. But don’t worry,” he whispers into my ear. “There are no baths in this hotel bedroom. They’ve actually gone the whole hog and built a special room for that.”

I laugh and nudge him, still staring at the car. “I can’t believe it.”

“Do you like it?”

I turn to him and hug him tightly until he protests. “Oh my God, Iloveit,” I exclaim. “It’s so beautiful.”

“The colour reminded me of that first pair of your knickers,” he whispers, and I flush.

I still love wearing lacy knickers. The difference is that Misha more than loves it too, to the extent that I now have a drawer full of very expensive panties because he buys me something new every week. I generally only get one wear out of them because he really likes to use his hands and ripping lace floats his boat.

“It’s so expensive,” I say worriedly. “What if I have a turn again and can’t use it?”

He shrugs. “We’ll use it for something else.”

“What? A plant pot?”

He pinches me, making me laugh and flinch away. “I’m not sure when sarcasm found you, Charlie, but I wish it’d move on now.” I laugh again, and he tugs me closer. I go willingly, loving him so muchit makes my stomach tighten. “But here’s a novel concept,” he says seriously. “What if you never have another turn and you drive this car until it’s too old to use it anymore? What then?”

“Is this a euphemism?”

He laughs and kisses my temple, nuzzling my hair. “Maybe, or maybe it’s just a simple way of saying that we can’t prepare for everything, so let’s just enjoy what we have now.”

“What happened to the man who prepared for everything?”

“You broke him with your happy Spotify playlists,” he advises me.

I hug him. “I love yousomuch, Misha,” I say, and in that fierce tone is everything that I can’t find the words to say. It’s the laughter we share, the home we’ve built, and the sense of finally finding the other part of me. It’s a good foundation for everything to come, and while I know that some of that might be bad, after over a year spent loving my best friend, I know that we’ll face it together because that’s the source of our real strength.

MISHA

“This is the best birthday ever,” Charlie says, laughter dancing along the words. He hugs me tight, and I press my face into his hair, inhaling the scent of melons.

“Enough canoodling,” I say, pulling away. “I know you want to examine the car.”

He laughs. “I do. I can’t deny it.”

I watch his face as he walks around the car. He’s lit up from within, and even after over a year together, he still stops my breath. It’s not how gorgeous he is, although he will always be that to me. It’s more the fact that he’s mine and that I will never need anyone else. It’s a stunning thought.

My life has been filled with a lot of laughter and many men. Many,manymen. I never believed in the love songs and books which told of one great love. I happily dismissed that as advertising crap designed to sell flowers and chocolates. And maybe it was for me, until one day I really looked at the person who was my best friend and I finally got my head out of my arse and realised that he was so much more.

My life is filled with a sweet steadiness and a fierce love for Charlie that goes beyond a song or flowers and chocolates. It’s coming back to our house at night and smelling the sweet candles. It’s feeling that lift in my stomach when I see him. It’s laughing with our friends, loving our families, and at night curling up together knowing we’ll do it all again tomorrow. It’s knowing that I will always have him on my side and that we will never forsake each other.

However, I learnt my lesson long ago about not being flippant in all areas, because Charlie occasionally needs that old romantic touch. I look down at the keys in my hand. And hopefully, this will be one of those. I smile. Who am I kidding? This is a bloody epic gesture.

“Have you got the keys?” Charlie exclaims, echoing my thoughts as he often does. “Let’s take this baby out.”

I throw him the keys with the Union Jack key ring on them, and he unlocks the door while chattering about which is the best way to Brighton, and I let him talk on, smiling because he hasn’t noticed the platinum wedding ring on the key ring at all. It catches the light, and while Charlie talks, I picture it sitting on that third finger of his left hand. I want it there by nighttime.

Like I said, I learnt my lesson, and I learnt it well because I am never letting go of my Charlie Sunshine.