Page 13 of Gilded Bird

Jameson leans against the bathroom door, grinning at me in the mirror as I finish my skin routine. I clutch my robe tighter, hoping to hide any of the marks I’ve not had the time to cover with makeup. I flush a little as I recall being in the shower with Maddox. What a terrible time to have such a hot flash hit me.

“Yeah, of course, I would love to. Should I come over earlier to help or should I pretend she doesn’t need my help?” I smile back at him with a wink.

“I am going to say option B. I am glad you came here, Ma,” he tells me with the same crooked smile that stole my heart a lifetime ago.

“Me too. I love it here. It was fun striking out on my own after…I mean…” I trail off, bowing my head. I have nothing negative to say about his father even after the divorce. But I wonder now that I’ve felt this spark with Maddox if I made a big mistake by staying as long as I did.

“Dad loved you the way he knew how Ma. That way was just never going to be enough for you. I understood that. Finding Jade…has made me sad that neither of you gets that. That neither of you gets to find someone who makes you feel the way I feel about Jade. Then again,” he catches my gaze in the mirror, that cheeky grin back. “Life is not over after forty-five. Who’s to say you won’t still find it, huh?”

“Yeah,” I whisper, thoughts full of Maddox. “Who’s to say?”

“Love you, Ma. See you tonight, be there around seven.”

“Love you too, Tweedle Dee,” I veil my melancholy with a teasing grin.

After Jameson leaves, I have to take a breather before I continue my beauty routine. I glance at the dozens of creams and oils lined up on the vanity. A dozen ways to fix a line or plump my lips, to erase some years or hide them. Pretty bottles full of poison that never fulfill their promise.

“Why do I need this stuff? Why can’t I look in a mirror and see what he sees?” My voice is shaking as I grab the waste bin, tossing it all in.

Tearing my robe off, I step to the full-length mirror, chest heaving. I stand there for a long time, staring at myself. I turn, I twist my neck, and I shift on my feet. And I see soft thighs, marks across my hips and stomach from carrying my son. I see the scar that brought him into the world. I see the pouch I could never sweat or diet off.

“What does he see when he looks at me?” I whisper, reaching out to touch the marks he left on my skin.

Scrapes from his beard at my thighs, when he spent hours between them, eating me like his favorite dessert. Teeth marks at my thighs, my hips, even that sad pouch. He would watch me come and bite me, tell me how pretty it was, how prettyI am. There are bruises on my hips, on my ribs, just slight ones, from his fingertips.

“It’s so good,” his hot voice floods my senses and I find my hand wrapping around my throat, the way he does when he’s deep inside of me. “You feel so good, baby. You were made for me, no matter how long it took us to get here. There will never be anyone else but you, Mika.”

Heat rushes through me, hot as lava, flowing just as fast. I am so turned on as I recall the need in his eyes, the glint of obsession. He does want me. He finds me beautiful, my body perfect even with all its imperfections. Can everything he has spent these past days saying be true?

Can I let myself fall for my son’s best friend?

****

It takes me twenty minutes to get up the courage to go inside. I sit outside of Jameson’s place, seeing a handful of cars. It is just one car that makes me pause. Just one guest who has arrived before me that I am nervous to see. As I start to get out of the car, there he is, opening the door, holding a hand out to help me.

“Hello, beautiful,” Maddox purrs, bending to brush his lips at my temple.

“Hi. Don’t you clean up nice.” I tease as my eyes eat him up.

“You don’t play fair, Mika,” he lowers his voice, his hand skimming from the small of my back over to my ass. “Yellow is stunning on you, and you know just what it does to me. You did this to taunt me, yes?”

Grinning up at him, I give a slight nod. Because yeah, maybe I did dress for him tonight in another yellow dress I just picked up. I wanted to look pretty for him. I wanted him to look at me just the way he is now. For once in my life, I craved the weight of a hungry gaze.

“I might have. Who is here tonight?”

“Some of his buddies from the bar. A few of Jade’s girlfriends. Some investors, for the expansion to Heart Harbor. I would not have noticed a single person if you had shown up on time, baby,” he hums close to my ear, his hand sliding up the bare skin on my back.

Laughing, I bounce a shoulder, watching his eyes track the movement. They flash to mine, his perfect white teeth sinking into his full bottom lip. He is such a beautiful man. Dark hair and light eyes, his smile always a little mischievous, his eyes always warm, always attentive.

“Us old birds get to show up whenever we want,” I shoot back.

“None of that now,” he commands, his hand on the back of my neck, tensing slightly. It sends arrows of heat right to my sex and I stumble. “I thought I warned you about self-deprecation. You are better than that, baby.”

Beaming up at him, I hardly notice the other people filling my son’s home. I cannot take my eyes off Maddox, and I don’t want to. I love the way he talks to me, the way he looks at me, and the dominating way he touches me. It is possessive, bordering on aggressive and something about it makes me feel as if we’re straddling a dangerous line.

“I am going to go say hello to Jade and pretend to offer help,” I tell him, starting to pull away once I notice eyes on us.

Some of the men I know, Walker and Collins who partnered with Jameson on the bar. I recognize some of the other men as the ones Maddox was playing volleyball with the day I first saw him again. Everyone talks quietly, in clusters, soft music playing somewhere, and the lights dim.