Page 119 of The Auction
I can’t help the small smile that tugs at my mouth.
“So how long… is a while?” she asks, her voice muffled.
She’s still not looking at me, so I hook a finger under her chin and tilt her face up. “Look at me.”
“Six years.”
Her mouth parts in disbelief, her breathing picking up, and I know exactly where her mind’s gone. That night. The party. The frat house.
“Why?” she whispers. “Why haven’t you had sex in six years?”
I don’t even hesitate. “Because the girl I wanted hated me.”
She sits up, clutching the sheet to her chest, her eyes shining. “Why? Why didn’t you want me then?”
Her voice cracks, and the tears follow.
“No,” I murmur, reaching for her. “Shhh, Cricket.” I pull her back down, wrapping her tight against me. My hand strokes her hair until I feel her breathing steady, even if her body is still trembling.
I press my lips to her temple. “I wanted you so fucking bad, baby. And that was the problem.”
I can still see it like it was yesterday—her weaving through that crowded house, searching every corner, every face.
“I watched you looking for me,” I say quietly. “I knew I should’ve left before you found me, but I couldn’t. I just had to look into your eyes one time.”
Her breath catches, her lashes lowering.
“Then you were talking to that asshole at the party,” I mutter. “I’m the one who called the coach and told him his players were out getting drunk.” Sitting up a little to look at her.
She lets out a shocked laugh and smacks my chest. “You didn’t.”
I grin faintly. “I did. And I’m not sorry.”
Her smile softens, but it fades when I say, “Then you wanted to kiss me… and fuck, Cricket, I wanted to kiss you too. But Jonathan saw us. Thought something happened. And he reminded me why I needed to leave you alone.”
Her brows draw together. “Why?”
“Because I’m broken. Because I’d already fucked enough women and didn’t need to add my best friend’s sister to the list. Because I didn’t know what love looked like without someone punching you.”
She flinches at that. “That’s not true.”
I shake my head. “But I believed it, Cricket. Jon knew what my life was like before.”
I take her hand and guide her fingers to one of my tattoos, letting her trace it slowly. “He knew I covered cigarette burns my dad gave me with ink.”
Her voice is barely a whisper. “Jaxon…”
It breaks something in me.
“I didn’t want to love you the wrong way and ruin you,” I say. “I haven’t slept around like people think. I just don’t correct them because I don’t give a shit what they think.”
I turn my head so I can see her clearly, even in the low light. “But I care what you think, baby.”
Her eyes glisten, and she swallows hard.
“I wouldn’t have been strong enough to stay away from you if you’d kept coming around. And you were only seventeen. I wanted to give you a chance to let someone love you the right way, so I had to make you hate me.”
Her grip on me tightens.
