Page 47 of Consequences of Their Wedding Charade
‘Of course I do,’ Curtis said coolly. ‘You’ve made that crystal-clear.’
‘It’s important we remain friends,’ she pointed out with a hint of panic in her voice. She could feel his cold withdrawal like a physical blow. ‘We’ve always been friends. We need to continue being friends because of...well, now that there’s a baby on the way. Aside from the business of...oflove, we both know that it would be hopeless being married.’ She laughed but the laugh emerged as a cross between a croak and a sob. He was looking at her in silence now, head tilted to one side, his expression remote.
‘Whereas...whereas we can both step back from the brink and deal with this in a civilised andamicablemanner! Whatever you’d like, I’m happy to go along with.’ Her previous mental block when it came to accepting his largesse now seemed petty and childish. ‘I totally get it that you might think my house is a bit on the small side...’ She waited for him to lighten up, to pick up the bait she had thrown and tease her about the dimensions of her one up, one down, but he remained coolly, disconcertingly silent, which propelled her further into heated, rambling speech. ‘So I’ll understand if you want to house us both somewhere a little bigger...’ Still that shuttered expression and glacial silence. ‘I won’t fight you over that. I know you think that the best thing for us to do is to get married, but if you really thought about it you’d agree that in the end we would hate one another!’
‘And on that note,’ Curtis told her, turning away, his voice husky, ‘I think I’ll leave.’ He slung on his coat, turned back to look at her. ‘If it would make things easier for you, I am happy to arrange the details through a lawyer.’
‘No! Why would you want to do that, Curtis? We’re not enemies, we’re friends. Isn’t that what you told me?’
‘Sometimes clarity is needed in certain situations, Jess. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable having to deal with me when you’d rather I took...a step backwards.’
‘No!’ She wanted to reach out and clutch his sleeve but instead she folded her arms and stared at him, not too certain how it was that the ground had shifted so dramatically under her feet when all she’d been trying to do was find out what the heck was going on and how they could rescue the situation. ‘I don’t want lawyers involved!’
‘Because that’s not what friends do? Especially friends who have ended up in bed with one another?’
She went bright red and was momentarily lost for words and into that silence he said, in a flat, calm voice, ‘Your bike? I will ensure that it’s returned to you first thing in the morning. And as to my godfather—you needn’t worry that you’re going to find yourself in any awkward situations, having to carry on with a pretence you no longer wish to be a part of. Tomorrow morning I’ll sit William down and explain the situation to him.’
‘You will?’ She blanched at the thought of how disappointed his godfather was going to be, swept from the euphoria of hastening their marriage vows to having to accept that there would be no exchange of vows after all, and all in the space of twenty-four hours, without any time to adjust, as she had hoped might be the case when she’d suggested this charade.
‘If you choose to contact him to explain the situation, then fine. If not, also fine.’ He spun round on his heel and headed for the door while she disconsolately padded in his wake, shaken to the core by the grim finality of every word that had crossed his lips.
‘Of course,’ he continued, hand on the door knob, ready to leave, ‘I will be in touch often and we will naturally have to meet up to discuss details of how we move forward if there is to be no involvement with lawyers, but rest assured I will not invade your space in any way, shape or form.’ He rested an almost gentle gaze on her as he opened the door, letting in a rush of freezing cold and the spray of snow. ‘Your personal happiness, Jess? There is no way I would ever think to get in the way of you achieving it...when all is said and done, it’s what you deserve.’
CHAPTER TEN
JESSCAMETOa stop outside William’s house and dismounted her bike.
The snow of the week before had given way to ice, blue skies and penetrating cold.
Not great conditions in which to hop on a bike and cycle, but her car had finally given up and she was waiting for a replacement, courtesy of Curtis, who had been in touch with her at least once a day since they had parted company nearly ten days previously.
She had mentioned that she was cycling to school because of her lack of alternative transport and, sure enough, he had immediately insisted on remedying the situation by replacing her dud car with something that actually, in his own words, had ‘an engine built this side of the Boer War’.
She hadn’t quibbled. Ever since their last conversation he had been the perfect gentleman.
Of course, it was impossible to gauge how he felt exactly, because it was very different being face to face with someone as opposed to hearing a disembodied voice or reading a text message but, true to his word, he had explained the situation to his godfather.
‘How...how did he take it?’ she had asked anxiously and he had set her mind at rest with his answer.
‘He accepted it. Don’t we all. Accept the things we can’t change.’
Like a coward, Jess had left a few days for the dust to settle with William and she had refrained from probing when she’d spoken to Curtis.
Something about their relationship had shifted and she couldn’t quite put her finger on it.
He had retreated.
It felt as though their relationship had moved through stages, from the comfort of friendship to the angst of infatuation, from the desperate urge to break free to the magnetic pull of something too strong, from the passion of being lovers to the sadness of accepting a love that would never be reciprocated.
But where she was now felt the worst.
She was in the most intimate place two people could reach, with his baby inside her, and yet she had never felt more separated from him.
For better or worse, he had been a constant in her life for as long as she could remember but now, despite his support, she could feel that constant slipping away.
He was doing all the right things because he was a decent guy.
He was concerned about her, keen to make life as easy as possible for her, asked her whether she was eating okay and feeling okay and doing okay.
