Page 103 of Rhet

Bingo, that’s the beauty of working with someone in narcotics. I don’t have to explain much. I nod and move to the edge of my seat.

“Okay, now here’s the plan.”

ZEETA

It been a while since I’ve laid in my room. My Nsync poster still hangs on the back of my door. There is still a white and pink canopy hanging over my bed. A narrow chest of drawer with a mirror is one side of my bed.

My room is the size of a shoe box, but it has always been my refuge when the world gets tough and for the first time ever, I feel like I want to run.

Conflicted that’s how I feel. I’m falling for someone who hurt my brother. My narcistic brother who could care less if I seduce Rhet or not. My chest tightens and stomach feels upset.

I’m being blackmailed to hurt the man I’m falling for. I can’t stop because the people I love most are depending on me. My soul feels so heavy. There is no one I can turn to for advice. I can’t even tell Penny what’s going on. Somewhere along the line, I lost my integrity.

As for my boss, I don’t know what I should do about him. On paper he’s horrid. In fact, he thinks he’s the law onto himself. Did I mention he runs hot and cold like my bathroom shower?

One minute he likes me, the next he’s pushing me away. Jail I went to jail today. I have never been in jail in my life far less in handcuffs.

I want to scream and cry all at once. I want this to all be over. I wish Daddy were alive, he would know what to do. He would have been able to give me some direction.

A hot tear runs down the side of my face onto my cotton pillows.

A knock on my door interrupts my thoughts. Miss Helen must be wondering what the hell is going on with me.

“Come in,” I say as I sit up on the bed and wipe my tears away.

The door opens and my mom shuffles into my bedroom. Instantly, I jump up.

“Ma, you okay?”

“Chile, yes. I came to check up on you.” Her eyes are clear like the days when she was one hundred percent herself.

I take her hand and lead her to my bed to sit. I don’t want her to become agitated.

“You’re crying why?”

She wipes my tears and for a moment, I get a glimpse of the woman who I remembered. Her palm feels so warm on my cheeks.

“It’s nothing,” I say to her, I kiss her palm and place it on my lap.

“Let me call your daddy to get you some chocolate milk.” She smiles and begins to rise.

“Nah, Ma. I’m on a diet, I’m good.”

“You and these silly diets.” She pushes my hair out of my face.

I want to cry in her arms, but I don’t want her to be triggered.

“What’s bothering you, sunshine?” she asks. I haven’t heard that name in years.

“I think I made a mistake. And I don’t know how to fix it.” I reply, struggling to keep it all in.

She nods and pulls me to her chest. She still smells like warm sweet vetiver oil. I push my face into her chest, crying silently.

“You know what your problem is, baby?”

I shake my head on her chest. “That I’m stupid.”

My mother rubs my back. “No, baby. The problem is you put everyone’s needs above yours constantly.”