Page 32 of Screwed
“Yes.” Her dark eyes drooped, and her bottom lip quivered.
Don’t cry. Please don’t cry.He’d be a dead man if tears showed up. “Okay, Callie. Take care.”
She trudged behind him as he walked to her front door, ever the polite hostess. “Bye, Cash. And thank you for taking me…”
He closed his eyes and tipped his head back.
“…to get the tattoo.”
“Welcome, darlin’.”
…
Cash couldn’t stop beating himself up for what had happened.
Sunday morning he awoke after a few hours of restless sleep, irritable and with a strange urge to punch something. All night long he’d dreamed of Callie, which was fucking torture. How could he have let something like that happen?
And he and Beau were going golfing this afternoon, so he had to face him. And not only did he have to face Beau, they were golfing with Aaron Sutherland, Callie’s uncle, and Jed Crenshaw, who’d married into the Sutherland family and who would be making the decision on the Sutherland Industries refinery substation construction project.
He rubbed his face, briefly considering calling Beau to tell him he was sick.
Nah, he couldn’t bail on him. Christ, the guilt was eating away at his guts, though. Why, why had he let that happen?
He hadn’t stood a chance.
He sighed, heaving his golf clubs into the back of his truck.
He’d wanted her for so long. Years ago he’d resigned himself to the fact that she would never be his. Beau had claimed her, they’d fallen in love, and Cash had shut down his feelings. He’d hid his misery the first night she’d stayed over at their place, and the day she’d flashed her two-carat diamond engagement ring in front of his eyes. He’d shut down his feelings for a lot of things, closing himself off to protect his miserable secret. Nailing every other woman he could get into his bed—not to mention other places—was supposed to help him get over Callie, but he’d never gotten involved with any of those women. Never found anyone else he could care about that way.
He’d managed to convince himself he was over her until Beau screwed around and broke her heart. Then he’d known he’d been bullshitting himself, because he felt Callie’s pain like it was his own.
As he drove to the country club, he remembered the day he’d caught Beau cheating on Callie. They’d actually come to blows that night, when Cash had exploded with fury after catching Beau with that blonde. A burn hit his chest even now, remembering the red-hot blaze of rage he’d felt on her behalf. Beau’d been shocked when Cash had laid in to him, since he was the guy who was always pokerfaced and in control. Apparently the emotions he’d been bottling up over the years had spilled over, and Cash had been ashamed of losing control like that.
After he’d gotten over the shock of Cash losing control and punching him, Beau’d been pissed. He’d tried to make cheating sound like nothing, like everyone did it and it was no big deal. Oh man…if Callie were his, he’d worship her the way she deserved. He’dnevercheat on her.
It was a wonder he and Beau were still friends and partners, after the fight they’d had.
Maybe in Beau’s world it was no big deal, but Cash remembered his mom’s devastation and heartbreak when his dad had cheated on her. That shit was not right, and the fact that he cared so much about Callie had made it all the worse.
“Jesus, what are you so worked up about?” Beau had asked him, rubbing his jaw where Cash had just landed a punch. They’d stood panting and glaring at each other.
What could he say? Hands clenching into fists, his jaw tense, Cash had struggled for words. Finally he’d said, “Callie doesn’t deserve that.”
Beau had lifted one eyebrow. “Why do you even care?”
“She’s a friend. All this time you two have been together, I’ve gotten to be friends with her.”
Beau nodded. “It’s fine, Cash. She’ll never know.” Then his eyes narrowed. “Unless you tell her.”
Cash closed his eyes, gritting his teeth. “I’m not going to tell her.”
He’d regretted saying that many times, because Beau’s cheating had continued. Callie needed to know. But it was hard to sort out his own tortured feelings. Did he want her to know so she and Beau would break up? Because even if they did, he could never have her. She’d always be his best friend’s ex. And maybe he was a bit of a coward, because he sure as shit didn’t want to be the one to deliver that blow to her. So he’d kept silent while the knowledge ate away at him, and his friendship with Beau deteriorated.
“We good, man?” Beau’d asked him later that night.
No. I’m pissed at you.But once again, he’d swallowed his anger and frustration, hiding his true feelings. “Yeah. We’re good.”
But it wasn’t that simple. They’d been friends a long time. Cash would always be grateful to Beau for how he’d accepted him and brought him into his circle of friends when they’d met in college. Cash had grown up in a whole different stratosphere than Beau had. Beau’s family was almost as wealthy as the Sutherlands. Raised by a single mom, without his football scholarship there was no way Cash would have been able to attend UT, and he’d definitely felt out of place and different at first. But he and Beau had become partners on the football field and friends off it. Now they were business partners with a successful company that had changed his life and was on the verge of making them millions of dollars.
