Page 100 of Screwed
She watched the old couple leave the store, smiling, her heart squeezing with love and admiration for them.
Chapter Twenty-Two
You need to decide what you want from life.
Callie made her way into her office, her throat aching, and lowered herself into her chair.
She’d been trying to do that. Trying to start a new life, single and independent, accomplishing something she was proud of. Her grandparents’ pride and love made her feel like maybe she wasn’t a complete failure.
Yes, she’d wanted to prove herself. Yes, she’d wanted to accomplish something. But then she’d dared to want even more…to want Cash’s love.
She’d known it was going to come—his rejection. Because it always did. She should have known better than to think she could ever come first with someone.
Her heart felt like it was shrinking in her chest, and it was hard to breathe.
But…despite her hurt and anger, she was ashamed of how she’d acted toward Cash. He’d chosen Beau and their business over her, but she understood why. He was a good man. The best. Loyal to his friend. Loyal to the people who worked for him. Loyal to his family.
Because she’d been so hurt, so ashamed of being not good enough once again, she’d lashed out at him. How could she have been such a bitch? And such a coward.
Her eyes stung, and she squeezed them shut, almost gasping with the pain that shafted through her at the thought of how hurtful she’d been toward Cash.
She had to go to him and apologize. To tell him that she hadn’t slept with him out of revenge—and she’d only said that out of hurt and confusion. He didn’t deserve that. She had to tell him the truth.
Fear gripped her with icy fingers. God. Making herself that vulnerable was terrifying. But telling the truth so that Cash knew she hadn’t used him mattered more than her own fear and insecurity. She had to make that right at least.
She didn’t know if he cared about her or not, but the fact remained that he didn’t want a relationship with her because she was Beau’s ex-wife. She hated that, but she had to accept it. And she also had to admire his loyalty and principles.
She needed to do it now, while her courage was up. She rose to her feet and grabbed her purse from the desk drawer where she kept it.
She glanced at her watch. It was late afternoon, but he was probably still at the office.Or he could be out with some other woman who wasn’t so stupidly self-doubting. Someone confident, who knew she was good enough for him.
She had to stop thinking like that.Shewas good enough for him. She had to stop letting her parents’ disregard and Beau’s cheating make her feel less. She had friends who cared about her, who she loved right back. And like Grandma had said…look what she’d accomplished with Caked. People admired her creations. Dammit, shewasworthy of being loved. She’d screwed up, but she could be brave enough to apologize for that.
She was either going to have to go hunting for him or call him and ask if he’d see her.
Hunting it was.
“Ginnie, can you handle things here for the next hour or so? I’ll be back to close up.”
“Sure!”
She left through the back door to the small lot where she’d parked her car and drove to the offices of Talmadge Hale Consulting. When she saw Cash’s truck parked in the lot behind the building, her hands started shaking. She nibbled her bottom lip as she entered the building and rode the elevator to the third floor.
She entered the reception area through the glass door. Shannon, the receptionist, smiled at her a little quizzically. “Hi, Callie. Are you here to see Beau? I think he’s gone for the day.”
“Actually I need to see Cash.”
Shannon blinked. “Well, sure, he’s in his office.”
“Thanks.”
She hurried past the reception desk and down the hall. She’d been to the office many times, although not for a while, and knew exactly where Cash’s office was.
The door was open, and she paused there to gather her courage. He sat at his desk, frowning at his computer. His tie was gone, if he’d had one on that day, his dress shirt open at the throat, the sleeves rolled up. His hair was tousled, as if he’d been running his hands through it, and tension tightened his jaw and mouth.
“Cash.”
His head jerked up. She took two steps into the office, her insides quivering. She swallowed. “Can I talk to you for a few minutes?”
