Page 79 of Screwed
After a short pause, she said, “You really want my opinion?”
“Yeah.” He really did.
“Well. I think you should do it. And I think you should do it with an open mind.”
“What does that mean?”
“I mean…people make mistakes. We hurt people we love. I have no idea what’s changed with him, that he wants to see you, but maybe…going into the meeting being curious about him and what’s happened in his life and what his story is would be better than going in all judgy.”
“Judgy. He cheated on his wife and abandoned his family.”
She said nothing, and he replayed her words. “Okay, I get your point. I’ll be curious.”
“And if he gives you some kind of crap story and you hate his guts…well, at least you gave it a shot. Or maybe you could get to know your dad a little and even have a brother.”
“I didn’t ask for a brother,” he muttered.
Her laugh was a gentle brush of air over his cheek. “I asked for a little sister. I never got that.” She sighed. “I didn’t get a lot of love from my parents, even though they were there. I know your dad wasn’t there…but maybe he still has some love to give. Even now.”
He nodded. “Okay. Yeah. I’ll do it. Now I want one of those cupcakes.”
…
Cash and his dad set up the meeting for the weekend, agreeing to meet in Fairfield. He kept telling himself on the drive there that he didn’t give a shit what happened. He’d lived most of his life without his father, and he could easily continue to do that. The hurt and longing he’d felt after his dad had left had been watered down over the years. There was no way to recapture something he’d never had, and there was no point in trying. So this was about moving forward from today on.
But inside him there was a void, an emptiness caused by his father’s rejection, by not having the relationship that was so important in any young man’s life. And he hated to admit he wanted that. His stomach coiled with tension, and his shoulders had tightened into rocks by the time he pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant where they were meeting for lunch.
He was almost regretting letting Callie convince him to do this. Damn, he should have brought her with him. That would have helped. Her usual cheeriness and everything-will-be-all-right attitude would totally help right now.
He tried to control his jumping nerves as he walked into the restaurant and looked around. Christ, would he even recognize his old man? His gaze passed over people, pausing, moving on.
There he was. He was already seated and had seen Cash. He lifted a hand and stood.
Cash made his feet move toward him. He sensed the other man’s nerves in the faint tremor in his grip as they shook hands and smiled tightly at each other. He wasn’t the only one worried about this.
Cash pretended this man was a new client, someone to be polite and cordial to. But yeah…a hundred questions churned in his brain. Why had he left? Why hadn’t he ever contacted them before? Why now? How the hell were they supposed to make up for the last twelve years over an hour and a half lunch?
They took their seats, and the familiar routine of having lunch in a restaurant occupied some time—letting the server fill water glasses, ordering coffee, perusing the menu, mulling over choices. Once that was done, they talked about mundane things like their drive there, the weather, the Astros and the Rangers. As they talked, Cash found himself examining his father as if he were going to be asked to describe him to a police sketch artist. He studied his hands—large, strong, with prominent veins and neat fingernails. He took in the graying hair, the shape of his eyes and nose and mouth, similar to his own.
And now that they were face-to-face, he found himself unable to ask any of those questions. His father was as polite and cordial as he was, with a wry sense of humor and a subtle charm that made him all too human. Not the asshole douchebag Cash had always thought him to be.
To everyone else in the restaurant, they probably looked like they were having a casual, informal lunch. But beneath the surface, Cash felt like a brick had lodged in his stomach, and he was almost nauseous by the time their food arrived. He had a sudden vision of himself standing up and shouting,“Why did you ignore us for the last twelve years?”The unasked questions hung heavily in the air around them.
“Tell me about your business,” Dad said.
Cash nodded and took a breath. “We’re a consulting company. We specialize in electric transmission and distribution, oil and gas processing plants, and design-build construction. We’ve worked on wind-power infrastructure. We’ve modernized oil and gas plants and worked on some renewable energy initiatives.” Okay, yeah, he wanted to impress his father. To show him that he may have abandoned him, but he was doing just fine. Better than fine.
Dad asked some probing questions, reminding Cash that his dad was also an engineer.
“You still work for Performance Group?”
“Yeah.” He shrugged. “I didn’t make it high up the ladder, but I do okay.”
Cash remembered that as a kid his dad had traveled to Dallas on business a lot. And that was where he’d met his new wife.
They talked more about Cash’s business, his dad seemingly interested in the details that would put some people to sleep.
“Tell me about Ginnie,” Dad eventually asked.
