Page 104 of Screwed
He nodded, looking almost sad. “I didn’t think so. He’s crazy about you, too.”
She snorted. “Yeah, right. All he wanted was sex. He got pissed off one night because I fell asleep on the couch and he had to go without. And I haven’t heard from him since.”
“Ugh.” Beau rubbed his forehead. “That might’ve been my fault.”
She squinted at her ex. “Huh?”
“I told him we could lose a big job if he didn’t stay away from you.”
Her forehead tightened. “What big job?”
Beau hesitated. “A big job for Sutherland Industries. We’ve been working on a bid for this job for months. And we really need the business.” He paused. “I kind of also told him that I wanted you back.”
“Oh my God, Beau! You told him that?”
“Yeah.”
“Why? I told you before—we are never, ever getting back together.”
Beau sighed. “I kind of suspected there was something going on between you two. I was worried about us not getting the job. And…” He looked away from her. “I didn’t like the idea of him being with you. So I told him I wanted to get back together with you, and your family wanted us back together, and I kind of implied that we could lose the Sutherland Industries project if that didn’t happen.”
“You what?” She stared at him. “Oh my God! I have nothing to do with Sutherland Industries!”
“But youarea Sutherland.”
“Sweet loving Lord. That’s the only reason you wanted to marry me, isn’t it?”
“No, Callie.”
“Yes, it is.” She’d known that for a long time. It used to sting, but now it didn’t matter. “I gradually realized after we got married what was more important to you. All the long hours you spent working, all the business functions you went to… Do you know how lonely I was?”
His face fell. “I guess I never thought…”
“Your career and your image and making money were more important to you than I was. When you cheated on me, at first it made me question myself. Why wasn’t I enough for you?”
He made a rough sound.
“But now I see…your cheating wasn’t a reflection onme, or on what I was lacking…it was a reflection onyou.”
“Ouch,” he muttered.
“Things changed when you and Cash started your business.Youchanged. You…disappeared.”
His eyebrows pulled together. “Really?”
“Yes. I wanted you to be successful, but…you were different.”
“Itisimportant to me,” he said quietly. “To be successful. My parents expect it.Yourparents expected it. I had to live up to that. And…” He hesitated. “You’re right. I liked being a Sutherland.”
Callie nodded slowly. “I get that. I know how it feels to let your parents down. Believe me, I understand. But for me, there are other things more important than money. Family. Friendship. Love.” She hesitated. “Did you…” She hated to ask, but she needed to know. “Did you ever really love me? Or did you just marry me because of who I am?” Her insides quivered as she awaited his answer. She didn’t love Beau anymore, but it still hurt to think that she’d been used that way.
“I did love you, Callie.” His voice was low and rough. “I really did. And I really fucked up.”
Her heart expanded, and her throat thickened. She closed her eyes, then opened them and met his gaze. Even though she no longer loved him, regret for what they’d had and lost washed through her. “Thank you. Maybe if I’d done something different…if I tried to talk to you about how I was feeling. But anytime I complained about you working late or not being around much, I felt like I was pushing you further away. Maybe I should have tried harder.”
“No, Callie. You were perfect. And I blew it.” Beau swallowed.
Wow. This was the most honest conversation they’d ever had. “No wonder Cash felt so guilty.” She sighed. “I kept telling him you and I were done, forever, meanwhile you were telling him you wanted to get back together.”
