Page 120 of Without You

“Forever is a long time,” he points out. “I guess we’re going to have to see which one of us caves in first.”

28

Rhett

Dear Deacon,

Your letter was the hardest one to write, because I always wanted to kick cancer’s ass so I could say it to your face.

You were my dying wish. A brother who could be my best friend, a best friend who could be my brother. I’m sorry we never got that, I’m even more sorry that Mom was the reason why.

I want you to know, you grew up to be an amazing human being, one you should be proud of, because that’s all on you. You suffered in silence, with your heart of gold, so everyone else didn’t have to.

I hoped one day I’d be able to stand my ground with Mom and make her stop hassling you, and we’d be able to make up for the missing years. But cancer’s got a hard-on for me and she plans to take me sooner rather than later.

So instead of moping and talking about the afterlife I don’t think even exists, I have some big brother tasks you need to fulfill for me when I’m gone, so you can keep your best big brother status (don’t even think about responding and saying you’re my only brother. It’s totally irrelevant).

They’re not much, but they’re important to me, because when I die, I need to make sure everybody I love is content and happy and loved.

Task One: Please bury me with candy corn.

Task Two: Tell Lia I love her every day.

Task Three: If Vic has another baby and it’s a boy, make sure they name him Rhett. What’s the point of dying young if you don’t get a legacy out of it?

Task Four: Stand up to Mom.

Task Five: Be nice to Julian.

I know the last one is a weird thing to ask, but he doesn’t have anyone else. You have Seattle, Vic has Hayden and Lia, and Mom and Dad have each other.

He’s been my best friend for so long, and he’s given up his whole life to take care of me. He deserves happiness.

Please, for me, help him find it. Maybe, he can help you too.

Love you, Big Brother.

Forever and Always.

Rhett.

* * *