Page 24 of Wild Thing
I ran my fingers through my hair feeling confused and uncomfortable. “I don’t know Taylor. My whole world spun on its axis when I saw him yesterday. I don’t know how to explain it. The connection between us is… something else. It’s visceral. And what are the chances of running into him, while I feel so disconnected from Zack? Literally, I’ve been asking the universe for a sign, and in walks a six foot three one.”
Taylor studied me in silence, processing my admissions, my confusion, my fucking messy situation. “Girl, you are in so much trouble.”
“I know.”
We continued to browse in silence for a few moments. The only sound was from the clothes hangers as Taylor shifted through the rack in front of her, a slight smile dancing on her lips. “You’re loving it aren’t you?”
I placed my pointer finger and thumb close together. “Just a smidge.”
***
After inflicting further damage on my credit card, it was mid-afternoon by the time I arrived back at The Dalton. I had just enough time to relax before getting ready for dinner “with an old friend.”
The rain had slowed to a drizzle, but the sky looked ominous. A storm was brewing out west. While running a bath, I unpacked my shopping and laid my outfit choices on the bed. I was undecided on what to wear, but I was certain on one thing: I had to look hot.
My outfit planning was interrupted by the sound of my phone ringing. Glancing at the screen, I saw the name I’d been dreading: Zack.
Taking a deep breath, I steeled myself and answered. “Hello?”
“Hey.”
“How are you?” Cradling the phone between the crook of my neck, I continued laying out outfit options on the bed.
“Good," Zack answered sharply. "I thought I would have heard from you today.”
There was always something. I couldn't do anything right. “Sorry, I’ve been out shopping.”
“Listen, I know we’ve been at each other’s throats lately, but at the end of the day, you know I love you, right?”
An awkward pause followed. “Yeah, I know that.”
“I just don’t want you to spend this time away thinking we’re not in a good place.”
I stopped what I was doing and held the phone to my ear properly. “But we’re not in a good place, Zack.”
“Us arguing over the fact that you don’t want to move in together, doesn’t mean we’re in a bad place.”
“Yes it does! We’re having the same conversation over and over again. I’m not in the same headspace as you. We're clearly on different pages. I’m not ready for that level of commitment, and that’s opened up a raft of issues. Youknowthis. I’ve explained all this–”
He angrily cut me off. His temper was never far away.
“Then what the fuck, Dylan? How much time do you want?”
“I don’t know Zack!”
“Do you expect me to just wait around for you to be ready?”
“If you love me the way you say you do, then yeah, I do expect that. And some fucking space please.”
Zack sighed dramatically down the phone, huffing and puffing as he realized this conversation was going nowhere. He wasn't used to not getting his own way. My reluctance to not behave the way he wants was triggering for him. “Fine. It’s not what I want, but fine.”
“Thank you. Just… give me some time Zack. Please.”
Part of me wished he would just admit that being with me was too much work and that I wasn't worth it. How much resistance did I need to demonstrate before he reached his limit? He was nothing if not patient.
“So what are you doing tonight?”
Shit. I wasn’t ready to have to lie to him so quickly.
