Page 143 of Wild Thing
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
“It seems more… serious.” I said after a beat.
If only he’d been honest at that first dinner. If only he’d said the words outright.
“Would you still have had an affair if he’d been honest about being engaged?”
“I don’t know. Maybe.”
It wasn’t the answer I wanted to give, but it was the truth. Even if I’d known the full story, would it have changed anything? The attraction still would have existed, the interactions together inevitable.
Ultimately, we wouldn't have been able to control ourselves. We can't be around each other unless we'rewitheach other. I knew it deep in my bones.
I tried to recall the times we spoke about Ally. I tried to remember any minute detail that might have given me some insight into why Brax thought the best choice was to lie to me.
But the tequila was doing its job and my thoughts were messed up.
“So, you went through all of that, just to leave him in the end? Because he lied… toyou?”
She placed an unmistakable emphasis on the wordyou.
My head snapped up, and I searched her face, hoping to find some kind of explanation for the accusation hidden in her words. But her expression remained unreadable, as if she were daring me to confront something I wasn’t ready to see.
“I've had three shots of tequila, you’re going to have to help me out here.”
The bartender smirked, but her tone stayed even. “Affairs are messy, built on secrets and lies. It’s not like he lied about having a relationship—he lied about the seriousness of it, sure—but there was probably a reason he did. And, honey, the person who has the right to rage here isn’t you. It’s his ex-fiancée.”
Ally’s face flashed in my mind. The pain I caused her… I was as wicked as my father was.
“Well, that’s why I’m here punishing myself. Because I am a piece of shit,” I shook my head, the self-loathing pouring out of me.
I stared down at the counter, tracing an invisible line along the grain of the wood. I was ashamed to admit this, but deep down, I had wanted Brax to chase me. I wanted him to choose me over her.
Even though I told him that I didn’t love him, I still wanted him to call my bluff, unlike all those years ago where he just let me go. It felt like history was repeating itself.
And this time, it hurt even more.
“Honey, you’re not the first and you certainly won’t be the last person on this planet to ever have an affair,” the bartender said, placing both polished glasses on the shelf behind her. “You can’t help who you fall in love with. The question you need to ask yourself is: Was it all for nothing?”
Her words lingered in the air long after she moved away, busying herself with other customers.
Was it all for nothing?
My temples throbbed, the tequila wrecking havoc on my ability to think straight.
I looked around at the people remaining at the bar. Only a handful remained. A few couples lounging on the plush chairs, enjoying a nightcap before retreating to their rooms.
I wondered what time it was. Close to midnight, I guessed.
I was just about to call it a night when someone slid onto the stool beside me. I groaned audibly and rolled my eyes. I didn't bother to hide my irritation.
“What do you want, Steven?”
He was still in his suit, the tie slightly loosened.
“You disappeared from the gala,” he said, his voice clipped with annoyance. “Marie’s stressed out and worried about you. I told her I’d check if you made it back to the hotel.”
