Page 154 of Wild Thing
There, but not there.
“We got engaged because I was trying to do the right thing,” Brax began, his voice tight, each word like it weighed a thousand pounds. “There was pressure from her family, from Greg, and the moment—and I mean the verymoment—we got engaged, I knew it was a huge mistake. She knew it, too. We werenever right for each other. The only reason we got engaged was because she was pregnant.”
I let out a choked scoff, and shook my head. “That’s shitty, Brax.”
He nodded. “Yeah. I know.”
“So that’s it then. You’re going to be a father.”
“No, I’m not.” Brax looked up. "It was a false positive."
My mind raced as I struggled to understand what the fuck that meant.
"What does that even mean?” I whispered.
"It's rare, but it happens apparently."
My mind drifted to Ally. What must she have felt? To think you're having a baby, find out you're actually not, and then a few months later discover the man you planned to marry had an affair?
Fuck, Ally had been through hell.
I had a sinking feeling she would haunt me forever.
I deserved it.
“I need you to know,” he went on, “that even if I hadn’t run into you, I was ending things with Ally. I was unhappy, she was unhappy. Nothing about us made sense."
Brax's eyes were pained as he continued his truth tour. "I was actually relieved when she said she wasn't pregnant. I don't know what that says about me…"
His eyes drifted downwards. "I just didn’t want to be an asshole and break up with her right after it all. In my mind, I was going to give it some time and then end the relationship. I was trying to do the right thing.”
I let his words sink in, forcing myself to understand them. I could almost see his logic, fucked up and fractured as it was. The picture he painted was ugly, flawed, but…human.
"Why didn't you just tell me?"
He ran a hand through his hair. "Because I know how bad it sounds… that the only reason we got engaged was because I thought she was pregnant. I was scared of your reaction, I guess."
I rolled my head across my shoulders. The trauma of the night before was still pulsing through me. I felt like I was standing in a wreckage listening to Brax.
“Dyl, I want you to know that I never wanted to hurt you. I made mistakes. Poor choices… whatever you want to label them. I was trying so hard to do the right thing—by both of you—that I ended fucking everything up. I never wanted it to turn out like this.”
He wasn't the only one that had made poor choices. We'd both dug own own graves.
“I made bad choices too,” I whispered, pressing my fingers to the cut on the forehead. It stung. “I need to figure my life out, Brax. So do you.”
“There’s nothing left for me to figure out. Ally and I are over. I want you Dylan. I want us. Two days ago, you told me that’s what you wanted too.”
I let out a bitter laugh. “Yeah, and look at what’s happened since then. Everything’s changed, Brax. I need time to figure it all out. I need to figuremeout.”
"Alone?"
The truth in my silence was thick and suffocating. Brax reached for me, his fingers tilting my chin until our gaze met. He searched my eyes as if he might somehow find the answer hidden there. “Did you mean what you said last night?”
I forced a shrug, pretending I didn’t remember what venomous shit I’d flung at him on the night before. But I remembered it all. Every poisonous word. “Which part?"
“When you said you didn’t love me.”
I wanted to scream. I wanted to grab him and shake him and tell him that he knew I loved him, that he’d always known.
