Page 107 of Wild Thing
I wondered if Dylan could sense I was hiding something from her. I hated lying to her, but I was in too deep.
I told myself that soon, all this shit would be over. Once my relationship with Ally was finished, I'd be able to explain to Dylan what really went down and why I hid the truth from her.
I really hope she'd understand.
I reached over and placed my hand on her leg. “We’re nearly there.”
Thirty
DYLAN
The glittering ocean and golden sand whipped by, blending into one.
My ugly soul didn’t deserve to see such beautiful scenery.
The phone call from Ally was a stark reminder that what we were doing was horribly twisted.
How can I feel so happy, yet at the same time, like a piece of shit?
My mind was scrambled. Maybe I was a little insane.
I couldn't process the person I'd somehow become. Ihatedcheaters.
My hatred for home-wreckers spawned from when my Dad left my Mom for another woman. I watched my Mom's worldfall apart. She was completely blindsided. Because of him, I always thought there was a special place in hell for people who knowingly betrayed their partners.
And now here I was, doing the same shit.
It sickened me.Isickened myself.
“Sex” by The 1975 blasted through the speakers. I wondered what Brax was thinking.
Was he thinking about her?
Was he as tortured as I was?
I was exhausted thinking about the whole situation.
I wondered how people engaged in months, sometimes year long affairs. It would erode my soul. The sneaking around and dodging of reality wasn’t sustainable. How could it ever be?
The only plus side, if there even was one, was that in a few days, I’d be home. I'd finally break up with Zack and get rid of this rotten, guilty feeling. The warped situation would be finally over.
My thoughts raced ahead.
And then what?
Our lives were thousands of miles apart. Would I enter into a long distance relationship with Brax?
We needed to talk. To quieten my mind, I needed to know what was going to happen once we both returned home.
What if once we got back to our lives, we realized that we actually didn't bring out the best in each other, but the worst?
And that this was just a week of hot, passionate mistakes and nothing more? Some things are more precious because they didn’t last long. What if this affair was one of those things?
I’d die.
The realization settled into my stomach like a lead balloon.
I was in love with him.
