Page 95 of Jack

“Yes, ma’am, we did.”

I pull her against me and walk her over to the Christmas tree. She loves Christmas lights. The more, the better. Her face lights up at every house with decorations we pass around town. Yes, we’ve taken long drives so that she can see them.

“Wait here.” I grab the blanket and pillows from the couch.

“What are you doing?”

I spread the blanket on the floor and arrange the pillows. I turn off every light in the house except for the Christmas tree. With her wrapped in my arms again, I lower us to the blanket. What better way to spend Christmas with her under a tree?

She sits up, slides her cut off, and turns it over. Her fingers gently trace over the logo. “It’s beautiful.”

“Mom redesigned the club’s logo.” Maybe it’s time she knows why.

“It’s for your sister.” Well, she’s figured that part out.

“Yeah.” I slide my finger along the design. “Ariel’s favorite color was red. It’s why there’s red trim and a burgundy glow around the emblem. The two A’s for Ariel’s Angels are hidden in the ribbons.” I point them out. “It has two sets of wings.” I touch each one. “The larger set is for my sister. The smaller is for her little girl.”

“Jack, I have to tell you something.” She looks up at me with tears in her eyes.

“What’s that, angel?”

“That day at the library, I Googled your sister’s name. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pried.”

“You didn’t,” I assure her. “It’s hard for my family to talk about it. Nick monitors what’s online. Mostly, what’s there now are just the case facts.”

She runs a finger over the smallest set of wings. “She was pregnant.”

I take a deep breath and try to control my emotions. She knows about the baby. She saw part of my sister’s story. It’s why she was so sad, crying, and unaware of her surroundings as she walked through the library. We all saw it on the video, but I never asked her about it.

“She was about four months.” I can’t tell her more tonight. There’s more. A lot more. We didn’t know the baby was a girl. When the coroner told Mom, she named the baby Angel Magnolia. She deserved to be called more than the unborn baby.

As if sensing I’m at my limits, she lets the subject drop and places her palm against my cheek.

“I love you, Jack.”

“I love you too, angel.” I lean down and kiss her neck. She shivers. I love it when that happens.

“Why do you still call me that?”

I raise my head and stare into her eyes. She has no idea how much she means to me or what she saves me from.

“I told you before, I carry darkness. I’ve found even more since that day.”

“I love you, Jack. The darkness and all.”

She might regret saying that someday.

“I thought I lost you. Don’t ever leave me. If you go, you have to take me with you. I can’t survive this world without you.”

“Jack,” she whispers softly.

“You’re the only light in my darkness, angel. You’re burned into my soul.”

Her gasp turns into a moan against my lips. It’s true. It’s all true. I wouldn’t make it without her. If I ever lose her, the darkness takes me completely.