Page 5 of Bolt (Iron Thunder MC 1)
“Look! You can’t help me, Cassie. I don’t want you to. Can you please just stay out of it? Stay here, watch TV. Just shut up. Let me do what I have to do.”
“When will you be back?” I asked as he put on his shoes, but I felt scared I was pushing it too far, that he’d really snap.
“Why are you nagging me?” he bit back. He never snapped at me in the mornings, not when he was in a good mood. This wasn’t my Chip.
“I’m not trying to. I’m just concerned for you, Chip. You need help. If you don’t want me to interfere, I won’t. But will you come with me to see someone?”
“See who, exactly? What are you talking about? Like a shrink?”
I bit my lip, saying nothing.
“You’re the one who needs to get your fuckin’ head checked if you think you can drag me to a shrink. No fuckin’ way.” Now, he’d opened the door and was about to leave. I felt a desperate urge to pull him back, to beg him to stay, but knew it wouldn’t work. He was going to leave tonight, no matter what I said. I just hoped he’d be back in one piece.
“Tell me where you’ll be? In case I need to reach you,” I tried. Chip grinned indulgently, like I’d cracked the joke of the century.
“Goodnight, sis. Sleep well,” he said, and then he was gone.
I stood at the door, watching him sprint down the driveway and jump on his bike, not even giving me a parting glance as he rode away. Within seconds, I couldn’t even hear the roar of his engine anymore.
Once again, I was all alone, just me and this gnawing sensation of needing to help him, needing to intervene. But in what, I had no idea. I couldn’t get rid of it though. Why did I get the sense that he needed my help tonight? Maybe the way he was avoiding my eyes. Maybe because he finally stayed for dinner.
I paced around the house, tried to watch TV, did the dishes, folded some laundry. The next two hours dragged along till I decided I’d given him enough time. I needed to find out if he was okay.
I called his phone twice; both times, it went to voicemail. I sent him a text, asking him to respond immediately. Ten minutes went by. No reply.
My worry was turning into panic now, and it would only get worse if I remained in the house. I needed to get out, needed to feel I was doing something. So I jumped in my car and started driving.
We lived on the outskirts of Buffalo and the only place I knew to drive to was deeper into the country. I vaguely remembered Chip talking about some bar he frequented. I didn’t know much about this place other than it was close to the Allegheny Forest, so that was where I’d head. I started driving in its general direction in the hopes of spotting a bar I recognized.
I couldn’t even recall its name—if Chip had ever told it to me.
It was dead in the night now as I drove, and I tried his phone again. Ring, ring, ring. No answer. He hadn’t replied to my text.
My worry increased tenfold, and I couldn’t stop thinking about what would happen if I lost him. I had nobody else. No other family. No close friends. Just me and him. We had to stick together, brother and sister, there for one another.
I’d spent all my life caring for my brother and my mom. What was I supposed to do if I lost him too? Tears filled my eyes when I thought about the big elaborate breakfast he’d cooked for me the previous morning.
He’d been in a chipper mood, frying one egg after the other, flipping pancakes, and interested in my cafe and in hearing about the staff and the regular customers. That was then.
And tonight?
Everything had changed, as if he was a completely different person.
I knew the only solution to our problems was if I could somehow get him into therapy. He needed the help of a professional to bring him out of this dark cloud our parents’ deaths had sent him into. No matter how much I tried, I wouldn’t be able to do it myself.
I drove and drove that night, deeper into the countryside, into the blackness, aimless almost, just hoping, tears in my eyes sometimes… till I was convinced I was lost. Then just as I was about to stop and turn the car around again, I saw lights in the distance. Solitary lights from a solitary establishment. I drove on and there it was. The bar stood surrounded by tall trees like someone had attempted to hide the place by planting them all.
