Page 53 of Finding Hayes
Sav,
I don’t know what the fuck is happening. I know you’re going through a lot right now, but I can’t believe you moved without talking to me. So fucking much has happened, and I don’t know how to reach you, and I’m losing my shit. Barry and my mom had a fight. Saylor got hurt. It was bad. She went to the hospital, and I lost my shit on him. They held me for a few hours down at the police station.
Where the fuck are you, Sav? I’ve called and texted, and it looks like you blocked me. Your mom said you and your dad moved to the city? How the hell is that possible? I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m here. I’m staying with Nash and his dad. Saylor is with King. Jesus Christ, everything has gone to shit. Romeo and River got sent to juvie. I need to fill you in. Everything is a mess. I know you’re upset about your mom’s affair. It’s been a rough couple of weeks for you, and I’m so sorry if I wasn’t there for you when you needed me. I don’t know why you and your dad took off. How could you move without telling me? I would walk through fucking fire for you. You know that. Please call me.
P & C, Hayes
I looked down at my wrist as the tears fell onto the paper. I ran my thumb over the tiny orange carrot tattoo on the insideof my wrist.
Peas and carrots.
That’s what we once were.
I tossed the paper beside me on the bed and fell back. I squeezed my eyes closed and tried to remember that last day.
The day that everything changed.
“I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you,” my mother said when I came through the door before anyone realized that I was there.
I’d gone down to my favorite place on the water after school to hide out until well after dark. I’d needed to quiet my thoughts. Mr. Jones was the most popular teacher at our school, and his wife, Mrs. Jones, was also very well-liked.
But I was now wearing a scarlet letter. One that belonged to my mother.
Her affair with Mr. Jones was all anyone could talk about, and the last two weeks since the news broke had been unbearable.
A living hell.
Someone had spray painted the wordwhoreon my locker. There were sticky notes that said things like:Like mother, like daughter.
I was somehow a home-wrecker now.
Mrs. Jones was my math teacher, so spending ninety minutes in class with her three days a week was a real joy.
She despised me. Everyone despised me.
Well, aside from my father, Hayes, Abe, and Lily.
At least that’s how it felt.
And coming home to yet another fight was just icing on the cake at this point.
“You never meant to hurt me? That’s your defense?” My father’s voice was even and calm, but I heard the pain. I moved to the hallway so they wouldn’t know I was there.
Had I ever wanted to disappear this badly before?
I hadn’t eaten much in days, and nothing about my life was normal anymore.
“Billy, you know I can’t handle things the way that you do. Keeping your cancer a secret, it’s too much for me.”
Keeping your cancer a secret? What the hell was she talking about?
“So, you went off and fucked your daughter’s married teacher? That’s how you cope with things, Delila? When I’m at my lowest, you turn your back on me?”
“I didn’t expect to fall in love,” she said over her sobs.
Oh. My. God. She was in love now? This was a never-ending nightmare.
“Well, who knew? Your husband finds out he has cancer, and when he needs you most, what do you do? You fuck another man and then you fall in love with him? That’s about as low as it gets. I’m not going to lie. You’ve destroyed our family. Look what you’ve done to our daughter,” he hissed, and I’d never heard my father sound so angry before. “Hayes got sent home from school two days ago because he got in yet another fight trying to defend her from the hell she’s taking at school.”
