Page 53 of The Debutantes
She died so close to her favorite view. Close, but not enough for it to be the last thing she saw.
I pull my flannel tighter, trying not to think about it. I should have said something when Piper suggested coming here, maybe, but I’ve gotten good at forgetting.
And maybe today, I don’t want to. Because ever since last night, since I said it aloud, I can’t let go of the thought: what happened to Margot wasn’t an accident, and the Pierrot had something to do with it. The more I think it, the truer it feels. And I need to make up for all the time I’ve lost believing that what happened to Margot was only my fault.
“So,” Piper says, “we should talk about what happens next.”
She’s using her usual authoritative tone, like this is all under control, but she looks like she’s gotten about as little sleep as I have. Vivian, too.
Makes sense, if their nights were anything like mine. The few hours of sleep I managed were full of nightmares—the flicker of a lighter growing into flames that engulfed everything as Margot called out to me, the heat melting her skin like a plastic doll.
I’d shot awake with my heart pounding, the Jester’s threat clear and harsh as a bell:Stop digging, or I’ll show everyone just what you’ve been hiding behind those pretty masks of yours.I know, all too clearly, what that could mean.
Still, what happens next is obvious to me.
“We have to find those guys,” I say. “The ones I saw on the balcony. They knew Margot. And if they weren’t the ones who did something to her, then I’d bet they know who did. Maybe even where Lily is, too.”
“Right.” Piper looks hesitant, her confidence slipping just enough to make me suddenly nervous. “I think we should talk about the Jester first, though.”
“Well, yeah,” I say. “We need to figure out who he is, too.”
“No, I mean—” She takes a small breath through her nose. “We need to think about how safe it is to keep going with this.”
The quiet rush of the water behind me seems to get louder. My voice feels too small to compete with it.
“Are you saying we should stop?”
“I’m saying we should consider it. The Jester chased us out of there. He threatened us. That’s not something to take lightly.”
She’s so transparent, I actually laugh. Here I was, thinking Piper was just as committed to this as I am, but as soon as there’s the slightest threat of getting in trouble, she balks.
“That message was nothing,” I argue. “He said he’d ‘unmask’ us, or whatever, but what does that even mean? He’s probably bluffing.”
But even as I say it, I can’t deny the way those words haunted me late into the night, tossing and turning around my head until they shaped themselves into memories I’ve tried to forget.
Vivian shifts her weight. “I don’t know. Piper has a point.”
I take in Vivian’s face, the dark circles under her eyes even more pronounced against her pale skin. I wonder what she was thinking about last night, what she’s afraid the Jester might know. I almost want to ask her, but then I remember how kind she was to me after we left the Pierrot. No one has ever asked me if I wanted to talk about Margot, besides my parents.
Besides Lily, in the text that started everything, this whole screwed-up domino collapse.
“But we can’t stop,” I say, only slightly less forcefully. “The Jester’s probably only threatening us because we’re close to figuring something out. And y’allsawthat place. We can’t—” My throat tightens, strangling my voice. I shake my head. “We can’t just quit.”
“I’m not saying we should,” Vivian says. “But I do think we should be more careful.”
There’s a flash of something in her eyes, some hint at whatever it is she’s afraid of the Jester knowing, but I let it pass. I’m grateful, at least, that she doesn’t want to give up.
“Okay,” I say. “Then what’s the plan?”
“I think you’re right about those guys,” Vivian tells me. “We should start with figuring out who they are. What do you remember about them?”
A hollow feeling starts to gnaw at me. “Just their masks. One was a raven. And the other was a wolf. A Rougarou, I think. He had a lighter like Margot’s.”
Piper scoffs. “Well, that’s not much to go on.”
I tense, irritated, but mostly because she’s right. I could have tried harder, looked closer, but it was dark, and I was scared, and I seriously don’t need Piper to make me feel worse about it than I already do.
“Okay, what’s your deal?” Vivian asks her, reading my mind.
