Page 65 of Between Our Hearts

Sadie nodded absently, her eyes trained on their street and watching for the bus. Lottie was showing Avery the information card that she wore on a yarn necklace, telling her all the details about kindergarten she’d learned from the meet-and-greet night five days ago—her teacher’s name, that her cubby had a purple starfish on it, and that the cafeteria had streamers in the school colors hanging from the ceiling. Avery babbled a smiling response to her sister’s every word, and Clark’s heart squeezed, thinking of the many conversations his girls would share for years to come.

“How are you so calm right now?” his wife asked in a hushed voice.

He pulled his attention from his daughters to meet Sadie’s anxious gaze. “I’m not. Inside I’m a mess, but she’s so excited for kindergarten that I don’t want her to feel nervous because I’m nervous.”

His wife gave her single curt nod, and he watched her cover her vulnerability with her trademark strength a second before the big yellow bus turned the corner to their street. Sadie pulled her shoulders back, even as a short breath punched from her chest.

“You’re going to have the best day.” His wife pulled Lottie into a tight embrace that continued until the exhaustive heave of the bus pulling to a stop sounded beside them. “I can’t wait to hear about it when I get home. I love you.”

“Love you too.” Lottie grinned.

Avery started toddling toward the open bus doors, and Sadie let go of Lottie to pick her up before she stepped off the curb.

“Have a great first day, little love. I’ll see you after school.” He crouched to pull Lottie into an embrace that rivaled his wife’s.

“Love you, Daddy.”

Clark kissed her ponytail before he forced his arms to let go. “I love you too. Hop up on the first step, and we’ll get a picture.”

Lottie practically flew to the bus stairs, smiled more brightly than her face had ever stretched, and posed for her “first day of school photo.” He felt like a part of himself was being sawed away as her glittery tennis shoes climbed higher until she disappeared between the high-backed seats.

“Drop off will be at 3:15 p.m.,” the bus driver stated with a grin before closing the doors.

Sadie had found Lottie at the window six rows back and was waving vigorously, prompting Avery to copy her. Their eldest daughter beamed from her seat and returned the wave until the bus pulled out of sight.

Beside him, Sadie’s long exhale was halting and ragged.

“It’s like part of your heart is walking around outside your body,” he offered. He’d learned through their time with Tara that offering his verbal explanation of his feelings often helped Sadie with her own.

Her pale green eyes caught his before her hard swallow. “That’s exactly it. And something about her getting on the bus has a finality to it. I know she’s only five and still little, but she’s not a baby anymore.”

“No, she’s not.” He ran his hand down her arm and interwove their fingers.

His thumb gently pressed against the thin rose gold chain of the bracelet his wife never took off. Before Avery had been born, he’d had it custom made by a local jeweler. Nestled in the center of the three rose gold circles were round diamonds—yellow, white, and yellow.

Sadie squeezed his hand while the etched lines on her face softened.

“Luckily, this one still is,” she said.

A small smile tugged at his mouth as Sadie burrowed her face in Avery’s neck and tightened her grip on their youngest.

Hand in hand, they walked up their driveway while Avery babbled on Sadie’s hip. His wife tried to flip her forearm before remembering her fingers were intertwined with his.

“She’ll be okay.” He pressed a kiss to the inside of her wrist and then tried another tactic. “Remember when the kids go to bed tonight, you’re meeting with Parker to plan her bachelorette party.”

It still brought a strange chuckle to his lips that his wife’s best friend had ended up dating and was now engaged to the man he’d accused Sadie of having an affair with.

“Oh, yeah. Will you be okay by yourself tonight?”

That expansive feeling kept trying to test the limits of his ribs. “Yeah. I was going to work on a new design.”

Sadie’s eyes lit over her scrubs. “I can’t wait to see it.”

His side-hobby-turned-business had been so steady over the last few years that he wondered if, when Avery joined her sister on that big yellow bus, he’d return to work as a carpenter. Right now, that was still the plan, but he’d learned that plans sometimes need to be altered. Sometimes, joy bounded into your life with stark unexpectedness and other times, grief ripped the flesh off your bones.

The best thing to do was enjoy what small moments you had.

Even if that was as simple as holding your wife’s hand on a balmy September morning.

It was these little moments stacked upon each other that made up the good in your life. A quick kiss goodbye. The first laugh of your baby daughter. Waking up to your wife snuggling against you.

Sadie sighed loudly as they reached the garage, staring at her packed and ready crossover. Though his wife had just been voted into her third year as the director of orthopedic surgery—unanimously this time—Clark could see she was reluctant to leave them today.

The corner of his mouth tipped up. “You’re going to have a good day too. And we’ll all be here when you get home.” He paused, letting emotion fill his words. “We’re always right here.”

Silently, she bobbed her head before letting go of his hand in favor of pulling his shoulder toward her, careful not to crush Avery between them. When his wife’s soft kisses lingered over his lips, he understood that Sadie was telling him, in her own perfect way, how much she loved him.