Page 57 of Checkmate
“Were they ever up?” Erica asked, watching him move around the small kitchen. She liked this flat with its open plan. It meant she could look over the back of the sofa and talk to him.
He shook his head as he picked a bottle of wine and poured a generous serving. “No. Honestly, Erica, I don’t even know where they are. Or if they even exist.”
Since meeting Marcus, there had been a question burning on Erica’s lips. She was desperate to ask, but it seemed like such an intrusive thing.
But in the end, curiosity won out.
“Marcus, forgive me, but… what did the two of you ever see in one another? You seem so completely different, and not in an opposite attract kind of way.”
Marcus sighed, running his hand through his hair before reaching for a battered pack of cigarettes.
“Do you smoke?” He asked, offering her the pack. She took a cigarette and lit it, placing her pack between them.
“Next ones on me,” she said.
He nodded, taking a couple of deep hits before looking over at her. “Sophie is quite tenacious. It might be hard to believe because she is such an airhead, but she used to be ambitious and motivated.”
“Used to be?”
“Yeah. On our first date, she hit me with a bunch of questions about what I wanted. Marriage, kids, aspirations. It was kind of heavy, but she said she wasn’t willing to waste time with someone whose goals didn’t align with hers.”
“Bold of her,” Erica said, flicking her ash into the ashtray.
“It was. And I was taken aback, but I found it refreshing. She knew what she wanted, and she wouldn’t settle.”
Erica watched as emotions played over his face, his eyes unfocused as he became stuck in his past.
“So what happened next?” She asked, gently prompting him.
Clearing his throat, Marcus leaned forward, stubbing out his cigarette and knocking back his wine until he drained the glass.
“She fell out of love with me,” he said with a shrug. “I don’t know when it happened. Whether it was before the affair or during it. Either way, she doesn’t love me anymore.”
He pressed his hands into his eyes, swearing under his breath. “Shit, sorry.”
“Don’t apologise,” she replied, squeezing his arm. “Believe me, I get it.”
“I’ve been avoiding that truth for weeks now. That she doesn’t... Hey, maybe she never did.”
“I don’t believe that’s true,” Erica said, wanting desperately to comfort him. “She wouldn’t have married you otherwise.”
“Maybe.” He poured himself another glass, topping up Erica’s, although she had barely touched it. “Anyway, I said she used to be ambitious. She used to be motivated.
“That was unfair. She’s still those things, but they’re aimed elsewhere now.”
“They’re aimed towards Alex.”
“Exactly.” He released a heavy breath, chuckling as he rubbed the back of his neck, avoiding her gaze. “God, who saw this coming?”
“What do you mean?”
“I thought I was too angry to feel sad anymore,” he admitted. “I thought the fact I could see a future beyond Sophie meant I was over it.”
“Marcus, it’s barely been two months since you found out. It’s okay to still grieve your relationship. I do. All the damn time.”
“Yeah? You still love Alex?”
“Of course I do. I just hate him, too.” She discarded her burned-out cigarette in the ashtray, shifting closer to him. “And yeah, I see a future beyond Alex. But right now, while I’m still in the trenches, that future feels unattainable. Right now, I am a knotted ball of anger, hate, and heartache.”
