Page 106 of Beating Heart
Emerson
Nash disposed of the condom and strode back toward the bed as I propped myself up to watch him. I’d never met a man who was so confident in his own skin. He climbed into bed and pulled me against his chest, wrapping his arms around me and kissing the top of my head.
“What a day,” I whispered.
“Yeah, that’s an understatement.”
I tipped my head back to look at him. “I was pretty freaked out when you didn’t ask me to go to your dad’s for dinner.”
“Well, trust me, I paid for it. My dad gave me a hard time from the minute we walked through the door, wanting to know where you were. If you were coming late. If you were bringing some sort of fairy dust Krispies,” he said with a laugh.
“Unicorn Rice Krispies. Come on, Heart, get your pastries straight.”
“Yeah, that was it. And then Cutler was relentless.” He tightened his hold on me. “I think it hit me today when you texted about the interview.”
“What hit you?”
“That I’m so fucking in love with you, I can’t see straight. And then I worried about my boy, because if I’m not able to keep it together, what happens to him? So, my instinct was to pull back. I should have talked to you.”
“I get it. It freaks me out, too.” My hand found his cheek, and I ran my fingers along his jaw. “I was with Collin for a really long time, and it never felt like this. Like I couldn’t breathe when I wasn’t with him. Maybe my mom’s right and this was supposed to happen.”
“What do you mean?” he asked, as his fingers ran soothingly along my collarbone.
“My mom always says that things happen for a reason, and I find the whole saying to be a little annoying. Especially after what happened. Like, there was no real reason for that to happen the way that it did. They could have just told me.” I sighed. “But, in hindsight… that anger led me to leave the hospital because I sure as hell couldn’t work with Farah every day and act professional. And I didn’t want to stay in a city where they both lived. I didn’t want to go back to Rosewood River, where everyone knew my story. And then I heard about this position in Magnolia Falls, and I jumped at it. So… maybe things do happen for a reason.”
I could feel him smile against my hair. “I get that. I think things do happen for a reason. I know that everything I went through with Tara was all worth it because it got me Cutler.”
“Definitely worth it. That boy…” I shook my head. “I miss him when he’s not around, you know?”
Nash chuckled. “Yeah. I know.”
“He talks to me about things. I hope that’s okay with you?”
“I’ve heard him opening up to you. It’s funny, I’ve asked the guys if he talks to them about Tara or about the kid in his class and their family situations, and they didn’t know nearly as much as he shares with you. That’s what worried me. And part of why I freaked out earlier is how attached he’s grown to you. But at the same time, I like that he talks to you.”
“Did you really think I could just leave and walk away from both of you now?”
“I didn’t know. We had a plan. I know you like your plans.” He chuckled, and I couldn’t hide the smile on my face. “I don’t know how this will all play out, but I think if we want to make it work, we’ll make it work.”
“Yeah,” I whispered, because the thought of being away from them made me anxious. “What would that look like?”
“This is what I know. I know you’re fucking brilliant. I know that you’re determined and driven, and I love that about you. So, if you need to go to Boston and I need to be here, then we FaceTime every day, and we visit as often as we can. After a year, if you love it there, then we look at options.”
“What kind of options?”
“I sell my company to King, and I’ll start over in Boston. Cutler would be fine with an adventure,” he said, but I heard the apprehension.
I flipped onto my stomach and gaped at him. “You can’t move to Boston. You’ve got your dad here and your friends and your life.”
He stroked the hair away from my face. “I grew up without a mom, and Cutler has, too. And it’s worked for all these years, but now that we’ve had this time with you, I don’t want to be away from you. You complete us in a way I didn’t know would be possible. That’s most important. All the other shit will work itself out. So, we’ll do the distance for a year, and if you love it there, then we’ll come to you. If you hate it, we’ll be waiting for you here. So you just chase your dreams, beautiful, and we’ll be right here, cheering you on.”
Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined a man saying those words to me.
And meaning them.
I felt loved and cherished and appreciated when I was with Nash.
I hugged him tighter. “So, we’re doing this?”
