Page 87 of Beating Heart
One should always have sex in the shower before starting their day.
I felt like I was on top of the freaking world.
My not-serious relationship was proving to be better than the only real relationship I’d ever had.
And today, I was showing Cutler how to make unicorn Krispies, and we’d made a batch of red velvet cupcakes because he’d said those were his favorite. And I was having the best time.
“I can’t believe you told Pops he couldn’t stay,” Cutler said over a fit of laughter as he continued stirring the chocolate batter in the mixing bowl.
“Well, this is our thing, right? I can’t teach you the secrets of baking with your dad all up in our business.” I smirked as I lined the cupcake tins with paper.
“I think he was happy to take Winnie on the boat, anyway.” He dipped his finger into the bowl and popped it into his mouth, his eyes going wide when I caught him.
I dipped my finger in and mimicked him, and he relaxed. “No sense baking if you can’t test the goods, right?”
“Yes! I knew you were my girl before, but now it feels like you’re my girl and my best friend. Just don’t tell J.T.”
I chuckled. “You really are the cutest, Beefcake. So why’d you want to learn to bake the unicorn Krispies?”
“Well, there’s this girl in my class named Jolie.” He set his spoon on the paper towel beside the bowl, and I showed him how to ladle the batter into the little cups.
“And Jolie likes unicorn Krispies?” I asked, helping him dip the ladle into the batter and maneuver it into the cups. He was very cautious and careful, and it impressed me. My grown brothers and cousins couldn’t fill a cupcake tin with batter to save their lives, so this was surprising.
“Every year, we do a special day for each kid in the class, and it’s called Star Student Day. Jolie brings cupcakes every single year on her special day. Her mama makes them. And then her mom and dad wear these T-shirts that say Jolie’s mom and Jolie’s dad on them when they walk her into school. So I thought maybe if I learned how to make treats of my own, me and Pops could bring something for the class this year on my special day. And no one has ever brought unicorn Krispies.”
A lump so thick it nearly choked me formed in my throat. It physically hurt me to know that he was hurting about anything. Because Cutler Heart was so loved and adored, but sometimes, it was easy to look around and compare yourself to what you think you should have, and it could be very painful.
“I’ll bet you could get your dad to bring in just about anything you wanted him to. And I’m sure he would wear any T-shirt you chose for him,” I said, as I watched him meticulously fill the last cupcake paper.
“I know he would. And he bought cookies for me last year. But we never made homemade before.” He paused and thought about it. “And Pops can’t bring me to school with a mama, because I don’t have one.”
I turned to look at him as he set the ladle down on the paper towel as if he hadn’t said something heavy at all. He was just speaking the truth.
“But I bet everyone doesn’t have both parents bringing them to school on their special day, right?” I knew there was talk of Tara coming to visit soon, but I wasn’t going to bring that up, because, according to Nash, she wasn’t someone they could count on at all.
He looked up at me with those big brown eyes, almost like he felt empathy for me because he sensed my sadness about the conversation. “Nope. They don’t all have both parents bringing them to school every day, but all the kids in my class do have two parents. But everyone knows I’ve got the best pops in town. But one time I’d like to have two people bring me to school so I can say I’ve got two as well.”
It was like a dagger to the heart.
“I get that. Wanting to be like everyone else. I don’t know if I told you, but I was planning this big wedding for the longest time. And then in the end, I had to call it off. I’ve never known anyone who called off their wedding. It’s kind of embarrassing that I had to tell everyone it wasn’t going to happen, but guess what, Beefcake?” I took the pan and moved it onto the top rack of the oven before setting the timer.
“What?” he asked, as he bent down, hands on his knees, as he peered into the oven.
“I’m doing just fine. It’s the reason that I came here and met you, right?” I closed the oven door and smiled at him. “And just because I’m different doesn’t mean it’s bad.”
“Why’d you call off the wedding?” he asked, his little eyebrows cinched with concern.
“Well, the groom that I picked found himself another lady.” It was my lame attempt at telling the truth to soothe his pain, but it seemed to be working.
“I’ve got a lot of girls, Sunny. But I can’t believe someone wouldn’t want to marry you. You’re my special girl. You know how to take care of sick kids, and you bake the best Krispies and cupcakes, and you ride horses, and you’re a real good swimmer, too. You’ve got the best dog, and you’re very pretty.” He reached for my hand. “But you’re also the nicest girl I know. You want me to have my uncles go beat that guy up for you? My uncle Ro is the champion, and they’re all real strong. My pops could beat just about anyone in a fight, except for maybe Uncle Ro.”
“No,” I said over my laughter. “I’m happy about it now. I just meant that sometimes being different from everyone around you isn’t a bad thing. Maybe it just means we’re special.”
“Pops always says that I’m special. And he’s like me. He didn’t have a mama either, and he’s the best pops.” He beamed up at me as I moved to get another bowl so we could start the icing. Nash had told me that he lost his mother in childbirth, and I couldn’t even imagine how hard that had to be on both him and his father. “Did your mama bring cupcakes when you were the star student at school?”
I pulled the step stool back up to the counter for him since we were going to make the icing next. I measured out the butter and dropped it into the bowl. “My parents are really great. But,” I said, holding up my phone to show him a photo of all of us together. “They’ve got five kids, and then I told you I’ve got my cousins who grew up right next door to me. So my mom couldn’t always bake cupcakes for all of us for every occasion. We got special treats on our birthday, and that was great.”
He studied the photo, and his head fell back in laughter. “Man, Sunny. You’ve got so many brothers and cousins, and they’re all boys. Did you wish for a girl sometimes?”
