Page 30 of All or Notching

A soft laugh escapes both of us.

His expression turns serious. “She’s beautiful, Laurel. Thank you so much for everything. For her.”

I drag my gaze away from my daughter to set it on her father. His face is full of awe and wonder as he stares at her sleeping in the curve of my arm.

Outside this room, hospital staff and visitors are moving about, doing their thing—visiting friends and loved ones or answering patients’ calls. But inside this room, the three of us are in our little world. And it’s perfect. “I should be thanking you. I never imagined I’d have this in my life. I didn’t realize what how much I was missing. She’s been in this world for a few short hours and I already can’t imagine my life without her.”

“I know what you mean. You know what else I know?”

“What?”

He shifts around on the bed, getting into a more comfortable position beside me, placing one arm over my head, and cupping the back of the baby’s head in his other. But he’s staring at me. “I can’t imagine my life withoutyouin it, Laurel.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying I want it all. I want us to be a real family. We may not have started this in a conventional way, but there’s no reason we can’t finish it that way.” Releasing the baby’s head, he cups my chin and turns my face toward his. He kisses me. When he pulls away, we stare deep into each other’s eyes, only a breath apart. “I love you, Laurel. I want the world with you. I want more children. I want to grow old with you. I want to discover your quirks, what makes you sad, and what makes you happy. We’ll figure out all the problems life throws in our path together. It’s all or nothing for me, honey. And I want my all to be you.

The tears started welling when he began his speech. They rolled from the corner of my eyes when he reached the ‘I love you.’ Now they’re streaming down my face. I have never been happier in my life. “I love you too. I want everything you want. You’re my all, Tristan.

The baby yawns again, dragging our attention away from each other to her. She struggles to open her eyes again after her short nap. She sees both of us staring at her and seems to look between us. Her tiny tongue slips out and curls, then disappear. She studies us for a moment and closes her eyes again as a soft sigh of contentment escapes her small lips.

I think we’re her all.

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