Page 150 of Explosive Prejudice

Sometimes, Jessie was the glue that kept us together, even without realizing it. He was an optimist, one who never allowed his pain to determine his happiness. There were times I envied him, truly envied him, because living life the way he did seemed nearly impossible.

And lastly came Diesel.

The kid had been an enigma since the first time his black eyes saw so clearly into me, realizing my motives even before I did. Unlike the others, he was different. As much as I was determined to help him, I also feared him. He probably sensed it, too, giving him a reason to never fully trust me. Diesel often suspected my motives for helping them, and he was right.

I didn’t just stumble upon them because of faith.

I searched for them, for him.

Sitting in the police station for nearly twelve hours now, waiting for some of my questions to be answered, all I could think about was how I’d managed to disappoint Diesel and that perhaps, if I had acted differently, we wouldn’t be in this hellish situation.

While images of his arrest kept running through my head like a horror film, so did our last few conversations. For years, I’d urged him to come to me for help, and he’d refused. When he finally did, instead of doing the right thing and helping him, I’d rejected him. When he appeared with Shay-Lee on our doorstep, I should’ve accepted them both, but instead, I turned them away like the coward I was, and now look at where we were.

I couldn’t have predicted what would happen, but I knew that Diesel, like the other three, was my responsibility. He became one the day he got out of juvie, and even though he was no longer a fifteen-year-old kid but a young man who’d made it clear he wanted nothing to do with me, I had no plans to give up on him. They all needed my help, but he needed it the most, yet he was the only one not to get it. Now, facing double murder allegations and an attempted murder, Diesel’s whole life was about to change, and it was my job to help him.

Whatever they were accusing him of, he didn’t do it. There was absolutely no question about that. As unclear as the future was, this fact wasn’t because no matter what they might say, he loved that boy. He loved that boy so much that he was willing to give his life up for him.

We were in the shadow of danger, with a raging storm threatening our home and everything we had built for years. I knew what was about to happen would change our lives forever, especially Diesel’s, and I wasn’t about to give up. Not this time. I was willing to fight because I refused to disappoint him again, even if it meant picking up my phone and bringing back demons from my past.

“Chief?” Andrei sounded breathless as he picked up the call. “Are there any updates? Did you talk with him?”

Getting up from my chair in the waiting room, I stepped outside into the hall. “No, they’re not letting me see him.” I leaned my back against the vending machine that offered cheap coffee.

“Shit, what are we going—”

I cut into his words. “Andrei, tell Miles I agree. We’ll need all the help we can get.”

“Okay. I’ll tell him right away.” He sounded determined before ending the call.

Pressing the phone to my lips, I closed my eyes and leaned my head back.

Miles’s dad, Daniel, had a law firm, one of the best in the state. How funny was it that the very man I’d tried so desperately to put behind me was a leading lawyer in their offices in New York and so happened to be the one Daniel suggested to send to help with Diesel’s case?

“Here you are.”

Opening my eyes, I saw Kai walking toward me with a cup of coffee in his hand, the good kind, unlike the crap they had here.

“Double shot, oat milk, lots of foam, just the way you like it.”

Smiling, I took the cup from him while trying to swallow back the lump of guilt that formed in my throat. If only he knew what I’d just done, he wouldn’t look at me with such kindness because bringing back that ghost into my life affected not only me but him, too. Kai didn’t deserve it, like he didn’t deserve most of what I’d made him go through. But this wasn’t about us, not anymore. Diesel’s and Shay-Lee’s lives were at stake, and it was time for me to make the right decisions, even if it would ruin me on the way.